Friday, September 29, 2006

Joke of the Day

Watch Dogs

A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?

"HELLOOOooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

Read more fresh jokes

Operation

Operation
Operation
Operation
Operation
Operation

Sisters of St. Francis

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye..It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the Far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business.... "

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER

Mind Blowing Facts

1. Turtles have no teeth.

2. Prehistoric turtles may have weighed as much as 5,000 pounds.

3. Only one out of a thousand baby sea turtles survives after hatching.

4. Sea turtles absorb a lot of salt from the sea water in which they live. They excrete excess salt from their eyes, so it often looks as though they're crying.

5. Helium is a colourless, odourless, tasteless inert gas at room temperature and makes up about 0.0005% of the air we breathe.

6. Helium Balloon Gas makes balloons float. Helium is lighter than air and just as the heaviest things will tend to fall to the bottom, the lightest things will rise to the top.

7. Helium Balloon Gas makes balloons float. Helium is lighter than air and just as the heaviest things will tend to fall to the bottom, the lightest things will rise to the top.

8. Camels can spit.

9. An ostrich can run 43 miles per hour (70 kilometers per hour).

10. Pigs are the fourth most intelligent animal in the world.

11. Dinosaurs didn't eat grass? There was no grass in the days of the dinosaurs.

12. Dolphins can swim 37 miles per hour (60 kilometers per hour).

13. A crocodile's tongue is attached to the roof of its mouth? It cannot move. It cannot chew but its Digestive juices are so strong that it can digest a steel nail, Glass pieces, etc

14. Sharks are immune to disease i.e they do not suffer from any Disease.

15. Animals are either right-or left-handed? Polar bears are always left-handed, and so is Kermit the Frog.

16. Paris, France has more dogs than people.

17. New Zealand is home to 70 million sheep and only 40 million people.

18. Male polar bears weigh 1400 pounds and females only weight 550 pounds, on average.

19. Bison are excellent swimmers? Their head, hump and tail never go below the surface of the water.

20. There are 6 to 14 frogs species in the world that have no tongues. One of these is the African dwarf frog.

21. A frog named Santjie, who was in a frog derby in South Africa jumped 33 feet 5.5 inches.

22. The longest life span of a frog was 40 years

23. The eyes of a frog flatten down when it swallows its prey

24. The name `India' is derived from the River Indus

25. The Persian invaders converted it into Hindu. The name `Hindustan' combines Sindhu and Hindu and thus refers to the land of the Hindus.

26. Chess was invented in India.

27. The' place value system' and the 'decimal system' were developed in 100 BC in India.

28. The game of snakes & ladders was created by the 13th century poet saint Gyandev. It was originally called 'Mokshapat.' The ladders in the game represented virtues and the snakes indicated vices.

29. India has the most post offices in the world

30. 'Navigation' is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH

31. The word navy is also derived from the Sanskrit word 'Nou'.

32. Until 1896, India was the only source for diamonds to the world

33. The' place value system' and the 'decimal system' were developed in 100 BC in India.

34. A snail can sleep for 3 years.

35. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start

36. Twenty-Four-Karat Gold is not pure gold since there is a small amount of copper in it. Absolutely pure gold is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.

37. Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a field around the wire.

38. The first bicycle that was made in 1817 by Baron von Drais didn't have any pedals? People walked it along

39. The first steam powered train was invented by Robert Stephenson. It was called the Rocket.

40. A cheetah does not roar like a lion - it purrs like a cat (meow).

41. The original name for the butterfly was 'flutterby'

42. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

43. Ants don't sleep.

44. Dolphins usually live up to about twenty years, but have been known to live for about forty.

45. Dolphins sleep in a semi-alert state by resting one side of their brain at a time

46. A dolphin can hold its breath for 5 to 8 minutes at a time

47. Bats can detect warmth of an animal from about 16 cm away using its "nose-leaf".

48. Bats can also find food up to 18 ft. away and get information about the type of insect using their sense of echolocation.

49. The eyes of the chameleon can move independently & can see in two different directions at the same time.

50. Cockroach: Can detect movement as small as 2,000 times the diameter of a hydrogen atom.

51. Dragonfly: Eye contains 30,000 lenses.

52. Pig's Tongue contains 15,000 taste buds. For comparison, the human tongue has 9,000 taste buds.

53. The number system was invented by India. Aryabhatta was the scientist who invented the digit zero.

54. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

55. Earth weighs 5,972,000,000, 000,000,000, 000 tons

56. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

57. A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere

58. Man is the only animal who'll eat with an enemy

59. The average woman uses about her height in lipstick every five years.

60. The first Christmas was celebrated on December 25,

61. AD 336 in Rome.

62. A Cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.

63. A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but monkeys can't

64. A rat can last longer without water than a camel can 65. About 10% of the world's population is left-handed 66. Dolphins sleep with one eye open

67. Snakes have no external ears. Therefore, they do not hear the music of a "snake charmer". Instead, they are probably responding to the movements of the snake charmer and the flute. However, sound waves may travel through bones in their heads to the middle ear.

68. Many spiders have eight eyes.

69. The tongue of snakes has no taste buds. Instead, the tongue is used to bring smells and tastes into the mouth. Smells and tastes are then detected in two pits, called "Jacobson's organs", on the roof of their mouths. Receptors in the pits then transmit smell and taste information to the brain.

70. Birds don't sweat

71. The highest kangaroo leap recorded is 10 ft and the longest is 42 ft

72. Flamingo tongues were eaten common at Roman feasts

73. The smallest bird in the world is the Hummingbird. It weighs 1oz

74. The bird that can fly the fastest is called a White it can fly up to 95 miles per hour.

75. The oldest living thing on earth is 12,000 years old. It is the flowering shrubs called creosote bushes in the Mojave Desert

76. Tea is said to have been discovered in 2737 BC by a Chinese emperor when some tea leaves accidentally blew into a pot of boiling water.

77. A person can live without food for about a month, but only about a week without water. If the amount of water in your body is reduced by just 1%, you'll feel thirsty. If it's reduced by 10%, you'll die.

78. Along with its length neck, the giraffe has a very long tongue -- more than a foot and a half long. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue

79. Ostriches can kick with tremendous force, but only forward. Don't Mess with them

80. An elephant can smell water three miles away

81. If you were to remove your skin, it would weigh as much as 5 pounds

82. A hippopotamus can run faster than a man

83. India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history

84. The world's known tallest man is Robert Pershing Wadlow. The giraffe is 5.49m (18 ft.), the man is 2.55m (8ft. 11.1 in.).

85. The world's tallest woman is Sandy Allen. She is 2.35m (7 ft. 7 in.).

86. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.

87. The blue whale is the largest animal on earth. The heart of a blue whale is as big as a car, and its tongue is as long as an elephant.

88. The largest bird egg in the world today is that of the ostrich. Ostrich eggs are from 6 to 8 inches long. Because of their size and the thickness of their shells, they take 40 minutes to hard-boil. The average adult male ostrich, the world's largest living bird, weighs up to 345 pounds.

89. Every dolphin has its own signature whistle to distinguish it from other dolphins, much like a human fingerprint

90. The world's largest mammal, the blue whale, weighs 50 tons i.e. 50000 Kg at birth. Fully grown, it weighs as much as 150 tons i.e. 150000 Kg.

91. 90 % of all the ice in the world in on Antarctica

92. Antarctica is DRIEST continent. Antarctica is a desert

93. Antarctica is COLDEST continent, averaging minus 76 degrees in the winter

94. Mercury is the closest planet to the sun and it doesn't have a moon. Its atmosphere is so thin that during the day the temperature reaches 750 degrees, but at night it gets down to -300 degrees.

95. Jupiter is the largest planet. If Jupiter were hollow, you could fit 1000 earths inside! It is made up of gas and is not solid. The most famous feature on Jupiter is its Red Spot, which is actually an enormous hurricane that has been raging on Jupiter for hundreds of years! Sixteen moons orbit Jupiter.

96. Saturn is a very windy place! Winds can reach up to 1,100 miles per hour. Saturn is also made of gas. If you could find an ocean large enough, it would float. This planet is famous for its beautiful rings, and has at least 18 moons.

97. Uranus is the third largest planet, and is also made of gas. It's tilted on its side and spins north-south rather than east-west. Uranus has 15 moons.

98. Neptune takes 165 Earth years to get around the sun. It appears blue because it is made of methane gas. Neptune also has a big Spot like Jupiter. Winds on Neptune get up to 1,200 mile per hour! Neptune has 8 moons.

99. Pluto is the farthest planet from the sun... usually. It has such an unusual orbit that it is occasionally closer to the sun than Neptune. Pluto is made of rock and ice.

100. Just about everyone listens to the radio! 99% of homes in the United States have a least one radio. Most families have several radios.

101. Sound is sent from the radio station through the air to your radio by means of electromagnetic waves. News, music, Bible teaching, baseball games, plays, advertisements-these sounds are all converted into electromagnetic waves (radio waves) before they reach your radio and your ears.

102. At the radio station, the announcer speaks into a microphone. The microphone changes the sound of his voice into an electrical signal. This signal is weak and can't travel very far, so it's sent to a transmitter. The transmitter mixes the signal with some strong radio signals called carrier waves. These waves are then sent out through a special antenna at the speed of light! They reach the antenna of your radio. Your antenna "catches" the signal, and the radio's amplifier strengthens the signal and sends it to the speakers. The speakers vibrate, and your ears pick up the vibrations and your brain translates them into the voice of the radio announcer back at the station. When you consider all the places the announcer's voice travels

103. Every radio station has its own frequency. When you turn the tuning knob on your radio, you are choosing which frequency you want your antenna to "catch."

104. Mountain lions are known by more than 100 names, including panther, catamount, cougar, painter and puma. It's scientific name is Felis concolor, which means "cat of one color." At one time, mountain lions were very common!

105. The large cats of the world are divided into two groups-those that roar, like tigers and African lions, and those that purr. Mountain lions purr, hiss, scream, and snarl, but they cannot roar.

106. They can jump a distance of 30 feet, and jump as high as 15 feet. It would take quite a fence to keep a mountain lion out!

107. Their favorite food is deer, but they'll eat other critters as well. They hunt alone, not in packs like wolves. They sneak up on their prey just like a house cat sneaks up on a bird or toy-one slow step at a time. A lion can eat ten pounds of meat at one time! That's equivalent to 40 quarter-pounder hamburgers!

108. Queen ants can live to be 30 years old

109. Dragonflies can flap their wings 28 times per second and they can fly up to 60 miles per hour

110. As fast as dragonflies can flap their wings, bees are even faster... they can flap their wings 435 times per second

111. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

112. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath

113. Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day

114. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people

115. The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump!

116. Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails!

117. Women blink nearly twice as much as men

118. Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible

119. Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren't added to it.

120. More people are allergic to cow's milk than any other food.

121. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand

122. Earth is the only planet not named after a god.

123. It's against the law to burp, or sneeze in a church in Nebraska, USA.

124. Some worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food!

125. It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open

126. Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness. She declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not

127. Slugs have 4 noses.

128. Owls are the only birds who can see the colour blue.

129. Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end

130. More than 1,000 different languages are spoken on the continent of Africa.

131. There was once an undersea post office in the Bahamas.

132. Abraham Lincoln's mother died when she drank the milk of a cow that grazed on poisonous snakeroot

133. After the death of Albert Einstein his brain was removed by a pathologist and put in a jar for future study.

134. Penguins are not found in the North Pole

135. A dentist invented the Electric Chair.

136. A whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound

137. Alexander Graham Bell's wife and mother were both deaf

138. Cockroaches break wind every 15 minutes.

139. Fish scales are an ingredient in most lipsticks

140. Canada" is an Indian word meaning "Big Village".

141. 259200 people die every day.

142. 11% of the world is left-handed

143. 1.7 litres of saliva is produced each day

144. The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old!

145. The largest beetle in the Americas is the Hercules beetle, which can be 4 to 6 inches in length. That's bigger than your hand!

146. A full-grown male mountain lion may be 9 feet long, including his tail!

147. There are two kinds of radio stations: AM and FM. That's why there are two dials on your radio. AM is used mostly for stations that specialize in talking, such as Christian stations that have Bible stories and sermons; sports stations that broadcast live baseball and football games; and stations that specialize in news programs and "talk shows," where listeners call the station and discuss various topics. FM is used mostly for stations that specialize in music.

148. The average lead pencil can draw a line that is almost 35 miles long or you can write almost 50,000 words in English with just one pencil

149. The Wright Brothers invented one of the first airplanes. It was called the Kitty Hawk.

150. The worst industrial disaster in India, occurred in 1984 in Bhopal the capital of Madhya Pradesh. A deadly chemical, methly isocyanate leaked out of the Union Carbide factory killing more than 2500 and leaving thousands sick. In fact the effects of this gas tragedy is being felt even today.

151. Mars is nicknamed the "Red Planet," because it looks reddish in the night sky. Mars has 2 moons.

152. Venus is nicknamed the "Jewel of the Sky." Because of the greenhouse effect, it is hotter than Mercury, even though it's not as close to the sun. Venus does not have a moon but it does have clouds of sulfuric acid! If you're gonna visit Venus, pack your gas mask!

153. Tens of thousands of participants come from all over the world, fight in a harmless battle where more than one hundred metric tons of over-ripe tomatoes are thrown in the streets.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Monster Bunny on the Loose!

Monster Bunny (Photo)

The escaped bunny could look like this "German Giant," which weighs 10 kg (22 lbs).

Recently, gardeners in England got a big surprise. A giant, floppy-eared bunny — the size of a dog! — snuck into their vegetable gardens and gobbled up their turnips and carrots.

According to the British Rabbit Council, the black and brown rabbit may be an escaped pet. It is believed that the rabbit is a type of Continental Giant rabbit, which can weigh a whopping 7 kilograms (15 pounds). That's one pudgy pet!

Like all rabbits, this one is an herbivore (HUR-beh-VORE), or an animal that eats plants. So a veggie garden is a great place for it to find a meal.

Gardeners are now in hot pursuit of the bounding bunny. "Rabbits can dart [away] pretty fast," says Wendy Feaga, an animal doctor in Maryland. When they spot danger, bunnies can scurry at 29 kilometers (18 miles) per hour.

So gardeners better hop to it before the bunny gobbles all the veggies!

Source: Scholastic SuperScience, Sep2006

Oops .. Funny Situation .. :)

Funny Situation (Photo)
Funny Situation (Photo)
Funny Situation (Photo)
Funny Situation (Photo)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

NWHRC Issues Report Alerting Consumers on Protecting Eyes from Sun

Red Bank, NJ—The National Women's Health Resource Center (NWHRC) has published its latest Fast Facts about how the sun's rays affect one's eyes and offers consumers advice on how to lessen the risk of developing eye conditions such as cataracts and age-related macular degeneration.
Consumers are advised to wear sunglasses that transmit no more than 1% UVB and UVA rays. They should look for sunwear that blocks 99% of UV radiation (UVR), according to "The Sun & Your Eyes: What You Should Know" report.
Consumers should also consider choosing lenses that cover the eye completely. Wrap-around lenses are preferable. They should also be aware that gray lenses provide the greatest protection. If one spends a lot of time in the sun, darker lenses are better than lighter ones.
The report also mentions the dangers of UV rays reflected off different surfaces, such as snow, sand, water, or concrete. Studies have shown that grass, soil, and water reflect less than 10% of UV radiation, whereas fresh snow reflects up to 80% of UV rays.
The time of day also has an effect on UVR exposure. At noon, the UVR dose may be 10 times higher than the dose 3 hours earlier or later. The report was supported by aii educational grant from Vistakon.

Ophthalmology Times, 8/15/2006

Friday, September 01, 2006

Japanese Anecdotes

By http://japan.freetraveler.net/

My father was taking a bath when he suddenly shouted, "Good heavens! I have a nosebleed coming from somewhere!"

I wonder, just where on my father could a "nosebleed" have come from...?



On the Hankyu Railway train, a boy of about 3 looked liked he had to pee.

Child: "Mama potty."

Mama: "Why don't you tell me sooner [hayaku]!"

Then the child thought of something and said rapidly [hayaku], "Mamapotty."



On the airplane to Okinawa, my father said pompously, "All of the islands of Okinawa have 'reference fish' [sanshouuo]!"

That should be "coral reef [fish]" [sangoshouuo]!!



On the "If I don't do it, who will?" sign inside a certain factory, the voicing marks on the ga of "who" were shaved off [changing dare ga, "who," to dare ka, "someone"] , making it "If I don't do it, someone will."

And this company's future will be....



The other day my sister was feeling blue because a boy had dumped her, so to comfort her my father meant to say "A person isn't [just] a face" but said "Your face isn't human."



My mother was watching TV when a beautiful female announcer came on. My mother said with a smile, "It'd be nice if someone like that married into our family."

But in my family the only guy is my father. Just who does my mother want a bride for?



At the confectioner's my mother asked for the country-style (crushed) sweet red-bean soup, and I asked for the strained sweet red-bean soup.

When the clerk asked, "Who (dochira) had the country-style (inaka)?" [but possibly "Where (dochira) is your hometown (inaka)?"], my mother answered instantly "Niigata prefecture."



During a marital spat, my father meant to say to my mother "Idiot!" [bakamono] but mistakenly shouted "Ghost!" [bakemono].

The quarrel got much worse.



When my mother gets a headache, she puts ice on her forehead.

Just the other day in the middle of the night, the pain got pretty severe. Through the darkness with her head swimming, she went to the kitchen. From the refrigerator she took out a plastic bag of ice that she'd put there in advance, put it on her forehead, and went back to sleep....

The next morning when she woke up, thawed squid had rolled onto her pillow.



One time when the family was gathered for dinner, my dad, who was mad about something, meant to say "Thanks to whom do you think you're able to eat this meal?!" but shouted "For whose benefit are you eating this meal?!"

My sister and I answered, "For our own benefit."