ktotheppower

The Strongest Boy in the World: How Genetic Information Is Reshaping our Lives. Review

2009-05-11T22:21:00.001+02:00

Stories involving genetics abound in the mainstream press; we are continually confronted with reports about controversies or breakthroughs around cloning, stem cell research, animal– human hybrids, ‘designer babies’, the breast cancer genes BRCA1 and BRCA2, or yet another man on death row freed after DNA testing proves his innocence. How does the average person not schooled in molecular biology or genetics make sense of these stories? The Strongest Boy in the World: How Genetic Information Is Reshaping our Lives aims to demystify some of the genetics-based controversies of our age and ‘ameliorate the unease’ that many people have about the science.

While the story about the so-called strongest boy is a curious anecdote about a four-year-old boy in Germany with unusually large muscles, it is the subtitle that more adequately addresses the heart of this lively collection of essays. Philip R. Reilly (physician, lawyer, geneticist and former CEO of Interleukin Genetics) describes for a lay audience the role that genetics plays in the transformation of our world, in such vastly different arenas as medicine, sports, pets, crime, our food supply, genealogical research and reproduction.

Being confronted by evidence that so much of our lives is apparently being infiltrated by genetics research may leave some readers feeling more unease, not less, despite the author’s intentions. For his part, Reilly does not portray a completely rosy picture of our brave new world, nor does he back away from discussing the complicated ethical dilemmas and unintended consequences such research raises.

One of his previous books includes The Surgical Solution: A History of Involuntary Sterilization in the United States, and the spectre of eugenics hovers over several of the essays here.

Because Reilly writes about such a wide range of topics (genetic screening of athletes, the origins of ‘race’, gene therapy, cloning dead pets, ‘golden rice’, and DNA forensics, to name a few), The Strongest Boy in the World at times feels scattered and undeveloped.

The reader is left wanting to know more about the role that genetics plays in human longevity, for example, before jumping into the next essay about whether or not there is a genetic basis behind disparities in IQ.

On the other hand, while Reilly may have sacrificed depth for breadth, its breadth is indeed one of the book’s main strengths. It underlines his central argument that genetic information is transforming what seems to be virtually every aspect of our lives.

Some of these aspects, as Reilly characterizes and organizes them, are humanity, disease, animals and plants, and society. Genetic information affects how we understand ourselves in terms of our innate capacities, and by doing so, raises the possibility of using technology for enhancement, such as ‘gene doping’ to gain an edge in sports. Searching for genetic bases of medical disorders may provide insight not only into the origins of illness, but may yield therapies, treatments and possible cures.

Reilly is especially strong in discussing the bioethics of genetics and disease. Genetics has reconceptualized the meanings of risk, from the point of view not only of individuals and families affected, but also that of pharmaceutical companies, physicianscientists and society at large. If DNA testing reveals certain people to be ‘at risk’ of developing a life-threatening disorder such as Huntington’s Disease, for example, how will this information change the way they live, such as decisions to marry or have children?

Of what value is genetic testing for disorders when there is no satisfactory treatment? To what end should the information gathered about the genetic origins of medical disorders be used?

The last question could well be asked of much of genetic research today: we should be having conversations about motives behind this knowledge seeking, about what we are to do with the knowledge that it yields, and how we are to judge the efficacy of what may be largely predictive, not definitive, data. Popular media (both the science press and science fiction alike) often presents genetics as the ultimate, determinist set of knowledge, eliding the role of the environment in its interaction with genes. Yet as a geneticist such as Reilly will tell you, some aspects of the science is akin to a bookie giving odds (p. 243).

Reilly appears to be most ill at ease when genetic information is used towards eugenic ends or social engineering (such as using pre-implantation genetic diagnosis to select desirable traits in offspring), but he is no Luddite. He champions the use of genetically-modified corn and rice as techno-fixes to world hunger, marvels at how haplotype analysis of Y chromosomes and mitochondrial DNA can be used to study evolution and genealogy, and makes an impassioned plea for stem cell research.

Regardless of where one stands in terms of the ethical dilemmas and policy implications Reilly raises, it is hard to disagree with him on the point that the way we understand ourselves, our environment, our history and our society has been fundamentally altered by genetic information. That his writing style is animated, anecdoteheavy, and not filled with jargon does not hurt, either. Essays would be appropriate for discussion in undergraduate and graduate courses in bioethics, genetic counselling and the sociology of science.

Train Math Skills With Space Traveller Game

2009-05-05T13:09:00.002+02:00

Test your analogy and math skills, and then work your way into the space by answering the space exploration trivia questions.

you can find more free math games here

More Math

2009-04-02T13:05:00.000+02:00

I"ve beaten it to death, but it has to be said. Our Business Math class is getting ready to take the final exam, and I've done most of the review problems. Unfortunately, I will NEVER remember all the stupid formulas and the correct use of the tables. It's simply impossible (for me, anyhow). I could spend the rest of my life trying to figure out which table to use for annuities and interest and would fail miserably. All this so I can drive my Grade Point Average down.

The weather outside will be frightful

The weather persons in our area are predicting the first snowfall tonight and tomorrow. The Weather Channel is predicting one to two inches, while locally, the weather people are saying 'could be much more.' Who do you believe? The East Coast was slammed with snow the past few days, so I guess it's our turn.

We'll see what happens.

2009-03-06T21:44:00.000+01:00

when your brother kidnapped your date... jeng jeng jeng

panas sungguh ye hari ini. saya mandi sebanyak 6 kali hari ini. sungguh panas. entah mengapa. cuaca cuaca begini...apakah mahunya???

had laksa today. hezzy, i had LAKSA!!! YUMMY!!! operasi assam laksa bersama hezzy di summit masih pending ye... bila ntah nak berjalan.

esok aku mahu ke o.u. aku mahu nonton van helsing. ada bagus or not cerita itu? watched secret window last friday. agak bagus. agak bagus.

why my entries all so like this wannn nowdays? aiyyer, stop coming here la. buang you all punye masa only!!!

2009-02-25T01:42:00.000+01:00

the minty-fresh breath that's sure to outlast this catastrophe, dance with me, cuz if you've got the poise then baby i'm the remedy
i think it's been a year or two since i've made a layout. maybe i will later if i feel so inspired.

every so often i go through a buddy list cleaning. and now is my all time low. i do go online now, just not as often as i used to which i think is a nice balance. anyway i'm down to a good 60 buuut a lot of them are repeat people or they're me OR i dont like them but theyre still there so i know when to go away so i actually only have like 50. ever keep just a name you dont really talk to but dont want to lose track of? yeah well i let those go too. i wonder what it'll be like after a year or so of college. would i dare to let go of people i mgiht never be able to find again otherwise?

this is stuck in my head hahahah
I shake it like jello,
And make the boys say hello,
Cause they know im rockin' the beat
(Rocking the beat),
I know you heard about a lot of great MC's,
But they ain't got nothing on me (nothing on me),
Because im 5 foot 2,
I wanna dance with you,
And im sophisticated fun,
I eat filet mignon,
And I'm nice and young,
Best believe im number one.

the oc=bs

2008-12-29T01:06:00.000+01:00

i saw orange county today. i liked the movie overall but the ending was so lame. the guy spends the entire movie trying to get into stanford. and when he finally does?! he says NO "i don't need to go to stanford to be a good writer" just because his effing girlfriend wants him to go to orange county university so they can be "together." are you effing kidding me?! yes it is so sweet and everything but what kind of retarded message is mtv trying to send to kids? i'm sure it makes kids who are rejected from their #1 choice feel better but choosing stanford over some random schooL?! i found it completely unbelievable. it's not like he was moving to new york. maybe i'm just being a heartless biz here but it's not like he was married to this girl. realistically speaking there's no way they would be together forever so why throw it away!

on a side note. i watched kate & leopold yesterday. and i just realized that in the time-warp-continuum whatever. the guys great great great grandfather was bound to marry meg ryan. so meg ryan had to be with the guy to be with leopold in the end. but (ok i'm sicK) isn't it kind of messed up that relatively speaking meg ryan was the girlfriend to her own great great grandchild?! i mean the whole movie isn't supposed to make sense but i think the fact that someone overlooked that piece of incestuous information is hilarious.

OH yeah i also watched lost in translation yesterday. and the cinematography (wow i sound advanced HAHA) was real pretty and all that. but i totally did not understand it. it was just a bunch of nothing. maybe it's because at the big climax at the end i already started flipping through my mom's vogue out of boredom so the point went right over my head. i am just not artsy fartsy enough to understand such deep things i guess. give me more chick flicks with incestuous relationships please. hahahahahaa

movies are so messed up. imagine what i would say if i watched american pie or something. geez!

brake failure

2008-12-24T09:46:00.000+01:00

Jill's car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls.

"What happened this time?" he asked.

"My brakes went out," Jill said. "Can you come to get me?"

"Where are you?" John asked.

"I'm in the drugstore," Jill responded.

"And where's the car?" John asked.

Jill replied, "It's in here with me."

thousand different shade of yellow...

2008-12-04T01:02:00.000+01:00

that awana porto malai was awesome. straight-up and down-right cool. it has everything. i didn't even have to go out to have fun. it has everything. from yuppy coffee joint, to mapley, to bowling alley and a cinema. jet skiing was fun. haih! i had fun, even if it's only for a short period! haih!

i watched italian job while my parents pegi dating. i want that RED MINI COOPER! i want! and i'm in love with handsome rob! ed norton pula sungguh macho, but he is so jahat in that movie!

Love Is A Tender Trap

2008-09-27T12:15:00.000+02:00

I'm currently moving my site over to my brand new server. I hope this doesn't cause any trouble you all, but for the time being, "BDTK" can still be reached at the Blogspot server. After all of this is done, I won't have to worry about hosting for a long, long time. As for the "BDTK" authors, you'll all be entitled to a chunk of my server, but please just let Dot TK, Dot5Hosting, and me work this out.

Note: The Dot TK URL will be up within a couple of days, if any of you were wondering.

News of the Weird

2008-08-24T13:06:00.000+02:00

* Grown-Ups: Charles Bonney, 67, and Victor Harris, 36, were detained by police in Godfrey, Ill., in December after squaring off in their vehicles (Chevrolet Camaro and Acura Integra) and repeatedly ramming each other in the street and then in the parking lot of C&W Auto Glass, because of their ongoing feud over a woman. Eventually, only Bonney faced criminal charges.

Getting Old

2008-07-03T01:40:00.000+02:00

An 80-year-old man goes for a physical. All of his tests come back with normal results.

The doctor says, 'George, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally?
Are you at peace with God?'

George replies, 'God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he's fixed it so when I
get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I'm done,
poof! the light goes off.'

'Wow, that's incredible,' the doctor says.. A little later in the day, the doctor calls George's wife.

'Ethel,' he says, 'George is doing fine! But I had to call you because I'm in awe of his relationship with God.
Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof! the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he's done, poof! the light goes off?'

'Oh my God!' Ethel exclaims. 'He's pissing in the fridge again!

It Must Be Winter

2008-04-24T12:23:00.000+02:00

The weather wonks were right in predicting inclement weather for Wisconsin. I woke up this morning to a layer of slush covering the landscape, and the Winter Weather Warnings have been in effect all evening. It looks like the band of snow is slowly moving east and will arrive around noon (give or take). The western part of the state is already getting its fair share of the white stuff.

Personally, I'm not too fond of winter. As a child, I would hurtle down hills on a sled, risking my life for the sake of a rush. But, as I grew older, the novelty wore off, and now snow is just something I have to clean off the sidewalks, driveway and patio deck to avoid a lawsuit. It's also a good reason to be a more cautious driver because of all the idiots who have licenses in my area.

Global warming my ass.

bless me, ultimaaaaaaaaaa

2008-04-21T14:53:00.000+02:00

i know i talk a lot about maturing lately..i don't know why. i guess it comes with the knowledge knowing that all these people i see everyday i will probably never seen again soon :( anyway i can't believe it's the week of thanksgiving already. before i couldn't WAIT until christmas and thanksgiving and now it's impeding on me like a blur. i have so many tests tomorrow though and i'm really stressed out about tests and applications and all that. i want everything to be over with but that means the year will be almost over. it's kinda hard..i hate school...but i don't. there's something comforting about living in my little walnut bubble.

anyway yeah i only talk about stuff liket his when i read something! last year when i read bless me, ultima i HATED it. it was so boring. but anyway i don't know if it's because i'm older, i read the whole book IN A DAY, or just cuz it's the 2nd time i read it, but the book is rather depressing. such a little boy having to deal with so much death and question his religion and faith and all anyone can say to him is "you must choose your destiny, understanding comes with life/growth, blah blah blah." i feel bad for antonio because he enver had a real childhood, and it makes me miss my own childhood. :( it's really sad. anyway i'm glad i've never gone through such crazyness but does understanding really come with growth? i mean it seems like i get more confused as i get older. more questioning, more confusion. i miss the days when the best part of the day was recess and i could ride on the swings and i would go home with my mom and deal with my tons of "homework."

i'm so nostalgic now i disgust myself. anyway thanks a lot rudolfo anaya, i don't fully understand your book but now i am sad and confused! ugh!

2008-03-11T12:22:00.000+01:00

This frustrated wife buys a pair of crutchless knickers
in an attempt to spice up her dead sex-life.
She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits
on the lounge suite opposite her husband.
At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs ……. enough times till her husband says…….
”Are you wearing crutchless knickers?”
“Y-e-s,” she answers with a seductive smile.
“Thank Christ for that……. I thought the stuffing was coming out of the lounge suite.”

2008-01-24T10:40:00.000+01:00

I think: of my gpa this sem
I know: we are gonna be late for chemistry
I want: to sleep!!
I have: to go to chemistry
I wish: this semester is over
I hate: bitches and sluts
I miss: Dosh's brotherly luv
I fear: losing someone I care about

okok...continue....chemistry time...

I feel: so messed up
I hear: cars, heater vibration
I smell: plain
I crave: sleep
I search: for guidance
I wonder: if I can get a good grades studying a day before test or a week before test?
I regret: for every single sin I've commit
I love: my family and friends, dancing
I ache: whatever makes me sick
I long: for good grades and bright future
I care: about myself, family, friends, and the world
I always: chat with Ude
I am not: straight. I am a BISEXUAL
I believe: I can survive the Delaware Petronas Conference
I dance: pretty well but not very...
I sing: whatever song I like
I cry: when I dont have the way out of something, afraid, and guilt
I do not always: smile
I fight: with someone I really2 know
I write: anything that crosses my mind
I win: everytime.. almost...
I lose: when the other party started to cry
I listen: to hiphop and reggae
I can usually be found: at Ude's crib
I am scared: of failure, bad spirits
I need: TO STUDY
I am allergic to: minah gedik!!!
I should: go study now
I hope: for good grades and being a great dancer
I follow: whatever I wanna do with some outside guidance
I find: myself is a bisexual
I smile: when I feel good about myself
I laugh: when I want to
I spell: SOPHISTICATED
I am obsessed with: dance
I do: Petroleum Engineers..hehhehe...
I tell: nothing
I talk: to my friends and friendly people
I bitch: with Dosh, Ude, Baby, Ilyani, Jezzebelle, Mak, Saty, and Nana
I despise: nobody
I see: the true meaning of life

The fellowship of the ring

2007-12-24T16:43:00.000+01:00

I finished reading "The Fellowship of the ring".
Unforgettable tale of fiction,grandeur,magnanimity,courage,evil,power,romance et.al.
JRR Tolkien at his poetic best while describing Lothlorein.
Tom bombadillo,weathertop,rivendell,Lands of Moria- Durin's kingdom, Lothlorein -sacred elven land, galadriel, Gates of Argonath ... have etched themselves into my memory.
Can't wait to finish "Two Towers" and "Return of the king".

The Two Towers

2007-11-05T19:32:00.000+01:00

I just finished reading "The Two Towers". Awesome stuff. Tolkien's writings and descriptions are so convincing. He is again at his poetic best while describing "Ithilien" the garden of Gondor,the dwelling of men.
In two towers Aragorn,legolas,gimli go after orcs to rescue merry,pippin. Merry,pippin venture into Fangorn forest.Frodo and Sam pass through dead marshes,find the secret entrance "cirith ungol",climb cirith ungol.

2007-08-04T13:17:00.000+02:00

Blogger has been out since yesterday. I tried updating a post and creating a new one this morning in w.bloggar, only to find that my site would not update. Go figure. This is one of the main reasons I dumped Blogger quite a while ago. But, you have to be brave when using the Internet to post random, useless thoughts.

Let's see if this works this time. The last time I tried, my site wouldn't update.

Well, I'm officially sick of life

2007-08-02T02:10:00.000+02:00

1. I think I try too hard. Especially with things I know that aren't going to change. For example: I have a friend, who's a great student, she's smart, gets her work done, etc., but she misses a lot of school, for various reasons. Like, if she's sick, obviously, but then there'll be times where she's said she has to run errands, take her dog somewhere, or something else. I don't know, I'm not -mad- but it's like, we don't talk about the issue because she gets mad that I'm being "too controlling" or I shouldn't worry about it. And I know I shouldn't worry about it, but like, I don't know, I guess it just feels like I'm worrying about something that's out of my control. But yeah.

2. Bryce and I are alright. We've been arguing a lot lately, and it's been mostly all my fault, and things I've brought up. It's like, I try -so- hard to get him to talk to me about his feelings, and I know that that's hard for a lot of guys, and he's pretty good about it, but like, it's getting him started, that's slightly frustrating. Like, if something's bothering him, he won't say it directly, he'll just say, "Oh, nothing", even though I know something is. And he'll deny it like crazy, and than that night, or the next day, he'll be the same way, and then he'll say, "Well, earlier tonight", or "Well, yesterday", or something. I don't know. It's not an anger thing, it's just a communications thing. Ya know? I don't know. It's weird. I'm so used to having the feeling of having a boyfriend, and I'm just so afraid to lose it. I mean, there's more than that to lose, obviously, not just the attachment feeling, but yeah.

3. Wendy and I have so much fun together; I just realized that today. I mean, Kelsey and I have fun, she and Kelsey have fun, and Wendy and I have fun. And we all have fun together, it's just an ackward fun. Like, we all have our lil' groups of two (previously mentioned), and so w/in those, we'll have inside jokes. So when we're all together, we're just kind of like, "Wait, who was I with when that happened?!". Ya know? But yeah....I don't know, I just love being around her, (Wendy), because she's so fun. We can talk about a ton of stuff, and it's like, we both have boyfriends and we're both having issues with them (Err....), and so we can talk about it. I mean, we can talk about it with Kelsey too, but Wendy knows specifically, ya know? [[Don't worry, Kel-C! I love you! Huggies!]]. But yeah.

Well, I have homework to do. I have to finish a speech analysis, and an English thing, which I can do later. But I want to take a shower, straighten my hair, and such, and do this before 10! So, I better go. I'll write more tomorrow.

The Chinese may be on the verge of becoming the greatest cleanup artists of all time

2007-07-26T07:10:00.000+02:00

The headlines give the impression that our environmental future is to be determined by the leaders of the world's biggest nations. And watching them duke it out with one another, it's hard to be optimistic. At the G8 summit in June, President Bush and German chancellor Angela Merkel emerged from heated negotiations with a vague plan--cut greenhouse-gas emissions in half by 2050--that smacks more of compromise than it does bold, science-based policy. But as we show in this issue, politics alone won't save our planet.

Instead, it's the hard, weird work being done on the ground that will make the difference. Long before the words "global warming" were on everyone's lips, Konrad Steffen, the glaciologist profiled on page 52, was already face-to-face with the future. Steffen isn't an activist. His 18-year study of research in Greenland is among our best sources for objective science on climate change, and his findings suggest that the ice sheet there is melting into the sea faster than anyone predicted--a threat to the Gulf Stream's stability, and thus to global weather.

But scientists and innovators all over the world are working to turn things around, and their plans will surprise you. Industrial engineer Peter Flynn wants to plop an enormous, salty ice cube into the Arctic to replace lost sea ice there and reinvigorate the world's ocean currents. Sound ridiculous? Consider what our writer McKenzie Funk discovered during his tour of China's industrial cities. As you'll read on page 78, it turns out that the Chinese, reviled for environmental irresponsibility, may be on the verge of becoming the greatest cleanup artists of all time. The projects taking form in what were once their most polluted cities will someday be a model for the countries that once criticized them. It's those kinds of stories, and not the ones you hear from the political podium, that will change the world.

By Mark Jannot

After losing my horse in a barn fire, I found solace in support from friends.

2007-06-29T13:03:00.000+02:00

By Stephanie Vaagen

EARLIER THIS YEAR, MY 2-YEAR-old colt, Cole, was one of nine horses that died as a result of a barn fire in Lewiston, Idaho. Barn owner and AQHA Professional Horseman, Joe Smith, lost two of his stallions in the fire (see "A Friend In Need," Just Between Us April '07). It was devastating, but the community rallied to show support, and the Northwest Interstate Quarter Horse Association voted to donate the proceeds from their upcoming schooling shows to help Joe and others who lost horses in the fire. Participants brought items to the show to donate, along with a determination to support those of us affected by the fire. The first show was held on February 10, just two days after the fire.

The morning of the show was one of the hardest of my life. Lewiston was wrapped in a blanket of fog, which I found fitting. Grief still sat just below the surface when I met up with my friends from Joe's barn to finalize plans for the show, which would begin later in the day.

As we waited for Joe to arrive, I took a phone call outside. His truck turned into the drive as I was hanging up. He looked as though he'd been pulled through a knothole, his swollen face showing the price he was paying for his lifelong love of horses.

After saying hello, I pointed out the gifts for him in the back of my truck, items donated by my family and another client of his. He nodded, and a shadow crossed his face. I knew he was thinking of the equipment those gifts were replacing. He said thank you, and mentioned that a client had called that morning while heading up to the Lewiston Round-up Grounds, which had become the foster barn for Joe and others affected by the fire. He was going to tell them to brush down a couple of the horses, until he remembered that he didn't even own a brush.

Then his voice broke, and it seemed his face twitched, and that was all it took to push me over the fine line of grief and solace that I'd been walking all morning. My eyes teared up and I reached out with a hug. He ducked away, stepping quickly toward the back of his truck, where he took a moment to gather himself.

Later, during the show, I lost my composure again. An 11-year-old friend had arranged to have an envelope delivered to me, knowing I would honor her request to deliver the envelope to Joe personally. "No one is supposed to open it except Joe," said an accompanying note. I stuck the envelope under my arm and walked up to the show office, where we were gathering donations and cards, then looked at the envelope again.

In typical kid fashion, the envelope was sealed with at least 15 pieces of tape. It jingled with coins and was bulky with cash and maybe a letter or drawing, or both (I'll never know for sure). On the outside, in little-kid writing, was Joe's name. On the other side, it read, "Please don't tell my mom or dad how much I gave you." That was it--I was a goner. The tears welled again, and visions of my young black colt dying in the fire filled my head. I turned and fled the office, making my way back to the barn, to my horses' stalls. Leaning against the cold steel rails of a stall door, I let my tears fall unchecked. It just didn't seem right, or fair. There should be one more horse here, I thought sadly. There should be three horses, not two.

I don't know how long I stood there. I'd lost track of time and was surprised when another trainer came around the corner. I tried to hide my tears and make a getaway, but he grabbed my coat and swung me around for a bear hug.

"I am so sorry about your colt," he said, squeezing me once more before letting go.

"Thank you. Me, too," I replied.

That small gift of a hug at just the right time lifted me so that I could at least function again. In fact, it was the best gift I've received in a long time. I straightened up, dried my face, and walked outside to what was then a partly sunny sky.

Toward the end of the day, while packing up to head home, I saw Joe get up on a horse that was giving his rider some trouble. It was good to see him riding again. A little later, while walking to my truck, I saw him leave the arena, riding the same horse, with a phone glued to his ear. At that moment, it seemed as though something was righted. Something had put us on the path to "normal." We were going to be OK. We would make it, and this summer, in spite of everything, we'd all be back in the show ring, doing what we love to do.

Hot and Cold Sex

2007-05-23T11:22:00.000+02:00

After his exam the doctor said to the elderly man: "You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?"

"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex I am usually cold and chilly, and then, after I have sex with her the second time, I am usually hot and sweaty."

After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"

The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns. The doctor then said to her: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time, and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you know why?"

"Oh that crazy old fart," she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in January and the second time is in August."

Artificial Market Power

2007-04-10T13:45:00.000+02:00

On February 9, officials from Italy, the U.K., Canada, Norway and Russia met in Rome, where they announced that their governments will commit $1.5 billion to supply developing nations with vaccines against pneumococcus, the leading vaccine-preventable killer of children younger than the age of five (it claims up to one million every year). These nations are creating a so-called advance market commitment to provide incentives for pharmaceutical companies to introduce next-generation pneumococcal injections more rapidly. This strategy requires donors to pay top dollar for a set number of doses, but once funds dry up, participating vaccine makers must supply them at below cost. An existing vaccine protects against as few as 50 percent of cases in parts of the world; however, both Wyeth and GlaxoSmithKline have vaccines in the pipeline that may bump that number closer to 80 percent, a more likely effectiveness requirement that vaccines will have to meet to be eligible for funds.

By: Minkel, J R, Scientific American, Apr2007

Kid Wisdom

2007-03-19T13:41:00.000+01:00

When your dad is mad and asks you, "Do I look stupid?" Don't answer.

Never tell your mom her diet's not working.

Stay away from prunes.

Don't pull your dad's finger when he tells you to.

Never leave your three-year-old brother in the same room as your school assignment.

If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

Felt-tip markers are not good to use as lipstick.

Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.

When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.

Yiddish

2007-02-02T13:39:00.000+01:00

During the first day of Hanukkah, two elderly Jewish men were sitting in a wonderful deli frequented almost exclusively by Jews in New York City. They were talking
amongst themselves in Yiddish, the colorful language of Jews who came over from Eastern Europe.

A Chinese waiter, only one year in New York, came up and in fluent, impeccable Yiddish asked them if everything was okay and if they were enjoying the holiday.

The Jewish men were dumbfounded. "Where did he ever learn such perfect Yiddish?" they both thought. After they paid the bill, they asked the restaurant manager, an old friend of theirs, "Where did our waiter learn such fabulous Yiddish?"

The manager looked around and leaned in so no one else could hear and said, "Shhhh. He thinks we're teaching him English."

Prompt Delivery

2007-01-06T07:18:00.000+01:00

Joke of the Day

2006-12-15T12:24:00.000+01:00

George Bush is visiting the Queen of England.
He asks her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government?

Are there any tips you can give me?"

"Well," says the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people."

Bush frowns, "But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?"

The Queen takes a sip of tea.
"Oh, that's easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligence riddle."

The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. "Please send The Prime Minister in here, would you?"

Tony Blair walks into the room. "Your Majesty...."
The Queen smiles. "Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?"

Without pausing for a moment, Blair answers, "That would be me!" "Yes! Very good!" says the Queen.

Back at the White House, Bush calls in his vice president, Dick Cheney. "Dick, answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It's not your brother and it's not your sister. Who is it?" "I'm not sure," says the vice president. "Let me get back to you on that one."

Dick Cheney goes to his advisers and asks every one, but none can give him an answer.

Finally, he ends up in the men's room and recognizes Colin Powell's shoes in the next stall.

Dick shouts, "Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it's not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"

Colin Powell yells back, "That's easy. It's me!"

Dick Cheney smiles. "Thanks!"

Cheney goes back to the Oval Office and asks to speak with Bush.

"Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It's Colin Powell."

Bush gets up, stomps over to Dick Cheney, and angrily yells into his face,

"No, you idiot!

It's Tony Blair!"

History's Gonna Getcha

2006-12-13T19:08:00.000+01:00

After dying a grisly death in an Afghan cave, Osama made his way to the pearly gates.

There, he was greeted by George Washington.

"How dare you attack the nation I helped conceive!" yelled Washington, slapping Osama in the face.

Patrick Henry came up from behind. "You wanted to end America's liberty, so they gave you death!" Henry punched Osama in the nose.

James Madison came next, and said, "This is why I allowed the government provide for the common defense!" He took a sledge hammer and whacked Osama's knees.

Osama was subjected to similar beatings from John Randolph, James Monroe, and 65 other people who had the same love for liberty and America. As he writhed on the ground, Thomas Jefferson kicked him back toward the gate where he was to be judged.

As Osama staggered back towards the gate, he screamed, "This is not what I was promised!"

A passing angel replied, "I thought I told you there would be 72 Virginians waiting for you. What did you think I said?"

Cats and Alcohol

2006-12-10T18:33:00.000+01:00

Merkel as a world star

2006-11-20T22:34:00.000+01:00

BERLIN Germany's chancellor wants Europe's economic powerhouse to play a bigger role on the world stage. But how many Germans are ready for that?

WITH more than 80m people and the world's third biggest economy, Germany squats like a giant in the centre of Europe. For most of the six decades since the second world war, it has been a giant in chains. The desire to tie it down was one of the chief motives of the German and French politicians who founded what has become the European Union. Memory has added fetters, too. The horrors of the Nazi period have imbued today's Germans with a profound antipathy to war and foreign entanglements.

At the beginning of this decade, however, the giant stirred. Under the chancellorship of Gerhard Schröder, Germany began cautiously to use military power outside its borders, in the Balkans. When America and Britain embarked on their Iraq adventure, Mr Schröder made a dramatic break with the United States, vigorously opposing the war and showing a new readiness to assert Germany's own power and interests. Now a new chancellor, Angela Merkel, has spent a year in office at the head of a grand coalition, the forced marriage of the centre-right Christian Democrats (CDU) and the centre-left Social Democrats (SPD). Next year she will occupy the rotating presidency of both the EU and the G8 rich-country club. Where will she take German foreign policy?

When she took over the chancellery last November, many observers expected her to be a German version of Margaret Thatcher (minus the threatening handbag), and knock the economy back into shape. Instead, she has turned out to be more of a foreign-policy chancellor. To avoid political quicksands, she let visits abroad dominate her first few months. She was more effective in helping to bring about a ceasefire in Lebanon than in putting an end to annoyingly narrow-minded fights about health care and other domestic matters. And next year, she is expected to star, not just because she will lead the EU and the G8, but because so many of the other world leaders are lame ducks while she is just starting out.

In ten years from now, says one of her close advisers, the grand coalition may be remembered not for the disappointments on the home front but for the fact that it has helped to reconcile Germans to the truth that unification and the end of the cold war did not create a peaceful world, but a brutal one full of conflicts, "and that Germany must assume responsibility to solve them." But if Germans can no longer shield themselves from the harsh realities of world affairs, how they react to this "reality shock" remains an open question.

The change, of course, was not sudden. Germany began assuming a stronger world role once the end of the cold war brought the country not just unification, but full sovereignty. Its foreign policy, much like its welfare state, was obliged to face up to the consequences of globalisation. But whereas the welfare state could not be easily adapted to fit with the way the world was going, Germany's foreign policy turned out to be far more in tune with the new challenges of an interdependent world. The catastrophe of the second world war, and decades of living with limited sovereignty, taught the Germans the virtues of soft power and multilateralism. Hans-Dietrich Genscher, a long-time former foreign minister, once famously said that Germany had no national interests, because its interests were identical with Europe's interests.

But where Germany long differed from its allies was in the ability and the willingness to send troops abroad. The Bundeswehr, the German armed forces, was set up to defend the homeland against attacks from the east. It would not have been politically possible, until the 1990s, to deploy soldiers in foreign interventions: most Germans were staunchly pacifist. Only in 1994 did the constitutional court rule that German soldiers could be allowed outside the NATO area, and then only if parliament had given its approval.

It took a coalition of Social Democrats and Greens, both with strong pacifist leanings, to send the Bundeswehr into armed combat, thus breaking the post-war taboo. In 1999, Mr Schröder risked a vote of confidence to dispatch fighter planes to take part in NATO's war in Kosovo. Nowadays, Germany is one of the larger providers of peacekeeping troops, with nearly 9,000 men and women spread over a dozen missions that range from Afghanistan to Sudan (see chart).

Mr Schröder reconciled Germans to the use of military power but without compromising the country's belief in non-military intervention. Armed forces are still seen as one instrument only in dealing with a conflict. In northern Afghanistan, for instance, Germany is testing out a new type of provincial reconstruction team (PRT), which truly mixes military and civil groups. The German PRTs are led jointly by a military commander and a diplomat, and the soldiers are complemented by teams of civil servants and aid workers.
A new sort of German nationalism

Mr Schröder also introduced another novelty into Germany's post-war foreign policy: a kind of German Gaullism. Foreign policy, he insisted, "is decided in Berlin", and he vowed to defend Germany's interests. This partly explains his opposition to the war in Iraq, an opposition which helped him to get re-elected in 2002, but badly damaged transatlantic relations. His more nationalist approach led to close friendships with the French and Russian presidents, and also to the pursuit of a permanent seat at the UN Security Council.

As a result, Germany was no longer perceived as a fixed star in the European firmament, let alone stolidly in mid-Atlantic. It was seen to be much freer, prepared to act on its own. Ms Merkel's contribution was to move swiftly to return the perception to what it had been. She has realigned Germany's position, putting some distance between herself and Jacques Chirac, and between herself and Russia's leader, Vladimir Putin, while edging closer to America's president, George Bush.

This effort to reposition Germany has guided her foreign policy. Mr Chirac's frequent hand-kissing notwithstanding, relations with France have cooled significantly. And when Mr Putin visited Germany in October, Ms Merkel did not hesitate to address the murder of a Russian journalist, Anna Politkovskaya. This was in sharp contrast to Mr Schröder who, during his tenure, called Russia's president "a democrat through and through".

At the same time, she has established an excellent relationship with Mr Bush, though she does not flinch from criticising the United States on such issues as Guantánamo and the CIA "rendition" flights. During her time in the EU presidency, her government would like to start a new transatlantic project. This would be a joint American-EU effort to come up with common standards in such areas as hedge-fund regulation and intellectual property.

An even more important difference between Ms Merkel and her predecessor is her position on EU enlargement, particularly the question of Turkish membership. Mr Schröder was a staunch proponent of Turkish accession, mainly for geopolitical reasons, seeing Turkey as a link between Europe and the Muslim world. Although Ms Merkel wants negotiations to go ahead, she thinks Turkey's relations with the EU should stop short of full membership — a position that is now supported by a large majority of Germans. This could spell trouble within the coalition, since the SPD still wants Turkey inside the union.

The quest to become a permanent member of the Security Council has been quietly abandoned, for now. Instead, Germany is playing an important part in foreign issues where it believes it can make a difference. Witness the negotiations over Iran's nuclear programme, in which Germany's involvement, together with the five permanent council members, is signalled by the shorthand "P5 plus one".

Germany, says Volker Perthes, director of the German Institute for International and Security Affairs, is now pretty much where it belongs: squarely at the centre. Whether it wants to be or not, the country is a Mittelmacht, or middle power. It is not a superpower, able to throw its weight about, but it is in a good position to take responsibility in cases where it can bring something to the table. This is so, for instance, in Central Asia, where Germany is not just the only European country with embassies in all five countries, but has also developed good links with civil society across the region.

It is hardly surprising, then, that Germans, so full of domestic gloom, are relatively happy about their current place in the world. But they are warned by Michael Zürn, dean of the Hertie School of Governance in Berlin, that this is no reason for self-congratulation. In a recent paper, he tries to assess whether Germany is doing enough to live up to its self-image of being "a power of peace". His sobering conclusion is not exactly, at least compared with other countries.
Hesitant power for peace

A direct comparison of Germany's defence spending (1.4% of GDP) with that of the United States (3.7%) is somewhat unfair: the whole point of Germany's foreign policy has been to avoid putting resources mainly in the military basket. But even if you add together the budgets of the ministries of defence, development and foreign affairs, Germany's record is not stellar. This share of "international policy" in Germany's federal budget has dropped from more than 20% in the early 1990s to 12% last year — not just because of less money for defence but also because there is less for development aid. Other indicators confirm that Germany is only a Mittelmacht when it comes to committing resources to development aid.

Moreover, the number of German troops abroad do not tell the full story. The Bundeswehr has been slow to adapt to a world in which conventional war in defence of the homeland is unlikely. Despite 253,000 soldiers and a budget of €24 billion ($28 billion), it has a lot of trouble mustering and equipping its peacekeepers. And these troops have rarely been at the centre of the action: in Afghanistan, they stay in the relatively calm north; in Lebanon, they patrol at sea, not on land.

More important in the long run, argues Mr Zürn, is the degree to which foreign-policy questions play a role in Germany's public debates. Though the coverage of international affairs in leading newspapers and broadcasts has increased, particularly when it comes to matters to do with the EU, domestic issues continue to dominate, even more than they do in other European countries. Politicians seem less and less interested in foreign-policy matters that pay no dividends on election day. Of the 109 new members who entered the Bundestag, Germany's parliament, at last year's election, only one admitted to an interest in foreign policy. Nor does it help that Germany is rather short on foreign-policy experts. "Foreign policy has no lobby of its own," says Mr Perthes.

Even though the public seems fairly content, at least for the moment, with the way that foreign policy is going, the country's leaders have not yet done enough to ensure that support will continue for the policy of sending troops abroad. In urging the dispatch of troops to Kosovo, Mr Schröder used strong moral imperatives ("Never again Auschwitz") to convince the public to allow fighter planes to go into combat. It is hard to follow so emotional an approach with less passionate justifications. There has seldom been any open talk about military dangers. And only low-risk missions are proposed.

There are obvious reasons for this. Pacifism remains deeply rooted. Moreover, parliament's powers in military matters is a German speciality: even a mission composed of two envoys in Ethiopia must be approved and its mandate renewed annually. But what this means is that, although the public now accepts the need for intervention and peacekeeping, the support is not all that solid. Most people see soldiers as little more than armed development-aid workers, who expend goodwill and good works, but do not get harmed. There may well be a backlash, says Josef Janning of the Bertelsmann Foundation, a think-tank, if something really bad happens, such as a busload of soldiers dying while fighting the Taliban.

Fortunately, the Bundeswehr has been lucky so far. Since 1991, 64 German soldiers have been killed, most of them by accident. But this state of affairs may not continue. In Afghanistan, for instance, the north is no longer an oasis of calm and German soldiers are regularly attacked. Germans are also discovering that their soldiers can come home as traumatised war veterans, and sometimes do nasty things in action. Witness the uproar created by pictures of German soldiers in Afghanistan holding up skulls. More to the point, NATO allies are turning up the heat on Germany to let its soldiers fight in Afghanistan's much more dangerous south.

The battlefield is not the only place where the rules of engagement are changing. For Germany, the negotiations with Iran were supposed to be an example of effective multilateralism. But now, with Iran unresponsive, Germany may one day soon have to decide whether it is willing to accept the price of tougher sanctions.

And this summer, Germany found that it, too, is not entirely safe from Islamist terrorism, despite its opposition to the war in Iraq. Two Lebanese students placed bombs on regional trains, though these fortunately failed to explode.

For decades, Germany was happy fighting culture wars over nuclear versus renewable energy, while conveniently forgetting that it was increasingly dependent on Russian gas imports. But a recently leaked memo by the foreign ministry's internal think-tank has triggered a heated debate that is reminiscent of discussions about the Soviet Union during the cold war — and also exposes frictions between the foreign ministry and the chancellery. The leaked paper argues that the EU should strengthen its economic and cultural links with Russia, an approach it calls "growing closer by interweaving" (which explains why some have dubbed it a "new Ostpolitik ", given that this was based on the mantra "change through becoming closer"). To critics, this amounts to ignoring both the issue of human rights in Russia, and the danger, for Germany, of energy dependence.

But, at least in the short run, the EU remains the most pressing issue for Germany. Although the government is trying to lower expectations, hopes still run high that Germany can salvage the proposed EU constitution. Yet the presidential election in France next May means that there is not much time, during Germany's six-month presidency, to tackle the issue.

In a sense, this presidency will really begin only on March 25th, when leaders of the EU's member states gather in Berlin for the 50th anniversary of the Treaty of Rome, the union's founding document, and adopt a "Berlin Declaration". This is supposed to be only a few pages long and drafted in direct talks between governments rather than by the Brussels bureaucracy. The hope is that it will re-launch the union, by stating common values and committing members to a genuine effort on the EU constitution.

Germany will need to be more creative than that if it is to accomplish what Ms Merkel calls "squaring the circle": tweaking the constitutional treaty to make it more acceptable to critics, notably in France, but without obliging the 15 member states that have already ratified it to do so again. Ms Merkel will consult to find out what members can accept, and when decisions would fit into their political schedule. At the EU summit next June, Germany will present a report that outlines how the constitution might be salvaged until France takes over the presidency in 2008.

If there is a European leader to find a solution, Ms Merkel may be the one. Among her colleagues, says Gerd Langguth of Bonn University, who has written her biography, she stands out as being extremely rational, wanting to get things done and not making a big fuss about herself. At home, this has become somewhat of a weakness, argues Mr Langguth: she tends to underestimate the importance of emotion in politics and the need to demonstrate leadership. On the international scene, however, it may be a strength: international issues are mostly about interests and law — and not about calming erratic state premiers from Bavaria or North Rhine-Westphalia.

A successful EU presidency would give her the authority she needs to breathe life into the grand coalition, says Wolfgang Nowak, of the Alfred Herrhausen Society, a think-tank. This would be welcome, for things are not so good at home. Yet, in more than one way, Germany's political system is simply doing what it was built to do after 1945: protect democracy by making it hard to bring about fundamental change. In no other rich country do so many players have a say in how their nation is governed: the state premiers, the coalitions, the constitutional court. Many had hoped that this latest coalition would somehow manage to overcome the "joint-decision-making trap", bringing the country up to speed with the rest of the world.

In the coalition's first year, it was probably a good thing that it did not. Not trying too hard to cut the budget deficit encouraged the economy to recover nicely. Growth is likely to reach 2.4%, the highest rate in five years. Unemployment is down by nearly 500,000 on a year ago, to some 4.3m people. And, thanks to booming tax revenues, even the budget deficit is likely to fall to its lowest level since the country's unification 16 years ago.
A tough learning process

The real problem is that Germans are continuing to lose faith in their political system — mainly as a result of the bickering within the coalition. Both the CDU and the SPD are hovering around 30% in the polls. Worse, according to a recent survey, a majority of Germans now say, for the first time, that they are no longer satisfied with how their democracy works.

Such a snapshot should not be misread: Germans are not about to ditch democracy. But there is a danger that, unhappy about direction, they may rediscover isolationism. Already, Euroscepticism is on the rise. And two-thirds of Germans now think that their soldiers should not be sent on any new missions. "Germans are still learning that they have to take over more responsibility," says a top official at the chancellery. "The problem could become that the world will ask us to do too much at this stage of our learning process." Germany has made great progress at finding its place in the world since unification, but it is not yet over the hump of history.
Widely, but still fairly safely, spread German troops on foreign assignments[*]

Mission Number
Afghanistan, Uzbekistan 2,898
Kosovo 2,875
Lebanon 1,021
Bosnia 847
Congo 754
Norn of Africa 332
Sudan 37
NATO Mediterranean patrol 23
Georgia 11
other 44
Total 8,842

Source: Economist, 11/18/2006

101 Hot Sex Tips From Guys

2006-11-06T21:22:00.000+01:00

By Oj Lima

1 My girl does this shivery tongue move she calls the figure eight. She presses her lips behind my earlobe and then twirls the tip of her tongue in circles. Man do I love it. — Andy, 31
2 I go wild when a woman gently sucks on my stomach right below my belly button. — Ross, 21
3 While I'm watching sports, my girlfriend will suddenly sit beside me in a baby tee and short shorts, pretending to be interested in the game. But I no longer am. — Gerard, 34
4 Say my name. It makes me feel like the man to hear it between moans and groans when you're on the brink. — Aaron, 32
5 Reverse cowgirl is even steamier when a woman places her feet on my thighs and reaches back to put her hands on my chest. I get to go deep, but she has control. — Kurt, 27
6 Brazilian bikini wax. You only have to do it once; I'll remember it for the rest of my life. — Jacques, 33
7 Hold the back of my head while I'm going down on you. I live for that point-of-no-return moment when I can feel your fingernails digging hard into my scalp. — Rich, 23
8 While we're at a restaurant, take my hand and put it on your inner thigh. Move it higher and higher. Check, please. — Eddy, 28
9 Sometimes less is more. Simple things like having my bottom lip nibbled or feeling you stroke my shoulders can get me more revved up than if you went straight for my zipper. — Randy, 24
10 If you know I'm stuck in a work meeting, send me a text message that describes the color and type of panties you're wearing. — Morgan, 28
11 Signal that you want me by bringing my palm to your lips and making circles with your tongue. — Derek, 24
12 Lean over the arm of the couch and let me go down on you from behind. I promise you'll see stars. — Oscar, 27
13 Right as I'm about to enter you, trace your middle fingers from your neck down to your belly button, like you're drawing me a runway and I'm cleared for landing. — Jack, 25
14 I'm all about the blindfold. There's something intensely sensual about not knowing where you're going to touch me next. — Nate, 30
15 Giving extraordinary oral is like holding a baseball bat — it requires both hands. — Charlie, 34
16 I used to date this woman who loved to do it in the morning. To get me into it, she'd wake me up and tell me she'd had a dream that she wanted to make a reality. Then she would tell me a sizzling fantasy and start to touch me down there. — Reinaldo, 24
17 Suck gently on the little groove on the back of my neck where my spine connects to my skull and I get goose bumps. — Evan, 28
18 One night, play soft and sweet. The next, be rough and aggressive. Mixing it up like that drives me nuts with anticipation, — Arturo, 32
19 Never knock your body. I don't care what the number on the scale says, all I know is it's like a pleasure machine. — Carlo
20 Instigate a sloppy, full-mouth make-out session. — Jimmy, 19
21 My lady once called me to say she had a flat tire. When I arrived at her car, all the wheels were fine…but she had her miniskirt hiked up to her waist. Then she opened the car door and pulled me in for a quickie. It was the best sneak attack since the Trojan horse! — PJ, 29
22 When a guy does something new that makes your knees weak, let him know. Just say, "I've never been touched like that before, but it feels so good." That kind of line will keep the experiments coming. — Orion, 24
23 Use a straw and blow directly on my nipples. The concentrated stream of air makes them rise to attention in seconds. — Xavier, 21
24 This one chick stroked me through my silk boxer shorts. The smooth fabric felt awesome, and it provided enough friction so that I didn't blast off too quickly. — Justin, 28
25 Order me to sit on my hands, so I'm helpless while you straddle my lap and rub against me. — Angela, 30
26 While you're getting dressed in the morning, bend over without any underwear on in front of me. — Christopher, 32
27 Give me oral while I'm lying back in bed, so I can put a pillow under my head and watch you work me over. The view is heart-stopping. — Greg, 36
28 When we're doing it doggie-style, tell me to stay still while you move back and forth. I won't last very long, but it'll feel amazing while I do. — Hugh, 18
29 As I go down on you, please keep the lights on. Half the thrill of pleasuring you is seeing your most private body part up close. — Nick, 31
30 Give me some hand action from behind. Lick the back of my neck at the same time, and I'm a goner. — Stewart, 26
31 Whisper something dirty, something you know I'd love to try but is so out there, we haven't even discussed doing it yet. — Conor, 31
32 While we're making out, slide your panties to one side and show me how you like to touch yourself when I'm not around. — Fred, 22
33 Moan as you take me in your mouth — the vibration makes your motions feel superhot. — Wayne, 24
34 Heaven on earth. That's what I call it when a woman leans her head forward when she's on top so her hair caresses my chest. — Omar, 30
35 For every bedroom session you have, do it somewhere different: In the bathtub, in a backyard hammock, on the kitchen counter. Sex is like real estate; it's about location, location, location. — Patrick, 28
36 Let me suck on your toes during foreplay. I promise you'll feel currents of pleasure from your feet to your innermost places. — Zeke, 29
37 There's nothing sexier than a woman who isn't embarrassed about really letting loose when she's having an orgasm. — Peter, 25
38 A lot of girls go fast and hard because they think that's what the guy wants. Not true. Try the 10-second rule: Tell him to enter you and then count to 10 before letting him thrust. He'll feel 10 times the sensation. — Michael, 34
39 Initiate a round of nooky by reminding me of a previous time we had a smoking-hot sex session. — Dante, 30
40 Sex standing up is a total-body experience. I feel your mouth on mine, your breasts against my chest, and your hips against my thighs. — Adam, 24
41 Leave the bathroom door open a little and let me see you after your morning shower, when your skin is wet and your hair is still slicked back. — Dave, 27
42 Pour a few drops of a sweet liqueur, like crème de menthe or amaretto, on your skin and ask me to lick it off drop by drop. — Garin, 35
43 Make like a cat and claw me a little. Don't be afraid to leave marks. I love that passion. — Kelsey, 31
44 I had a girlfriend who liked it when I sucked her nipples through a white tee shirt. I still fantasize about the wet spots on the fabric from where my mouth had been. — Mark, 23
45 I can go in much deeper during woman-on-top sex if you keep one foot on the bed and place the other foot on the floor. — Brandon, 29
46 During a trip to your parents' house, let's have a quickie in your childhood bedroom. — Ron, 28
47 Lick the skin on the underside of my member, where the head meets the shaft. It's so sensitive, it's a secret orgasm switch. — Bart, 21
48 When you're straddling me, hold my arms down by the biceps, so you're pretend-pinning me to the bed. Even tough guys secretly love that sense of powerlessness. — Enrique, 30
49 Any man will tell you that it's a turn-on if he sees you watching him moving in and out of you. So let me catch you looking. — Sid, 36
50 Tell me I feel really big. It's such a boost to my sexual ego. — Bruce, 22
51 Raise your arms over your head when you're lying back during missionary position, so I can watch your breasts jiggle around. — CM, 27
52
Squeeze and release your PC muscles over and over while I'm rocking inside you. It'll make me think you never want to let me go. — Harry, 24
53 Lean all the way forward during reverse woman-on-top and grab hold of my ankles. — Crosby, 24
54 Next time we're at the store to rent a DVD, lead me into the triple-X section and read the copy on some of the boxes to me. — Will, 29
55 Sixty-nine can be hard to pull off, but it's worth trying. While my girl gives me intense oral bliss, I get to watch her legs tremble while treating her to my mouth moves. — Raphael, 33
56 Squeeze my penis between your breasts. Better yet, rub a little lube into your cleavage before you do. — Bob, 18
57 When you sense I'm close, shift position but keep me inside your body. My girl torments me by suddenly going from doggie-style to spoon-style. — Casimir, 29
58 Everything's better wetter, so don't be shy about using lubricant. Or just keep some by your bedside, so I can reach over for it. — Peter, 30
59 Put a pillow under your butt during missionary and raise your legs together straight in the air. The tightness will make me go cross-eyed. — Bronson, 32
60 Alternate in-and-out thrusts with circular motions when you're in girl-on-top. — Casey, 26
61 Cup my balls together in one of your palms and pump gently while you're going down on me. — Jared, 28
62 Sit behind me with your breasts pressed into my back and run your hands down my chest and sides. — Damon, 22
63 Wear your hair loose so I can mess with it when we make out. — Matteo, 35
64 Pop in a hip-hop or house CD, something with a strong back-beat that we can synchronize our motions to all night. — Alan, 38
65 Let me lift your legs over my shoulders during missionary. I can get deeper inside you and rub against your G-spot, but I also get to look at your gorgeous calves. — Ben, 27
66 My favorite twist on from-behind sex: We both lie down straight, my body extended over yours and our faces practically touching. I thrust in shallow, wide circles, which leaves you purring in pleasure. — Doug, 26
67 When you have on a thin, tight sweater, place my hands on your breasts. I love touching them. — Max, 22
68 Give me oral while I'm lying down and spread my legs wide. It makes me feel more open and vulnerable, and that makes every sensation more pleasurable. — Cappy, 20
69 Take off your thong and tie my hands behind my back with it. Then have your way with me. — Joe, 26
70 Turn your request into a command. "Can you move faster?" isn't nearly as hot as "Go faster!" — Carl, 30
71 Grip my backside during missionary, drawing me closer to you with each thrust. — Oustin, 19
72 Keep your boots on. — Ivan, 22
73 Use the dirtiest words you can think of — the kind that can get a kid expelled from school — when you ask me to touch all the most private areas of your body. — Mike, 30
74 Wear your tightest push-up bra during sex. I won't be able to take my eyes away from your cleavage. — Edward, 22
75 I once dated this girl who played what she called the sticky note game: She'd tack a note on the body part she wanted me to focus on, with instructions telling me exactly what I should do there. From the sound of her moans, I took direction well. — Marcus, 34
76 For just a few seconds during the deed, hold still. — CM, 33
77 Pull on my hair when I'm touching you the right way. It gives it a sense of urgency. — Gary, 27
78 Take me into your mouth while I'm still soft. That will change real quick, trust me. — Cliff, 19
79 Come into the bedroom wearing high heels. I know it's kind of a cliché, but its like visual Viagra. — George, 34 80 Skip the bra and wear a white tank top. Once I see the outline of your breasts under the fabric, I'll have to have you. — Tim, 29
81 Crawl under the covers and start on me while I'm still asleep. Talk about a sexy wake-up call…. — Theo, 27
82 Making a V with your first two fingers and then sliding them up and down my shaft is a smokin' change of pace from the usual moves. — Travis, 32
83 When we're doing a spooning position, hook your leg inside mine and hold steady. It keeps our bodies still and close. — Dawn, 29
84 Give me an R-rated but not too revealing photo of yourself. I'll get turned on every time I look at it. — Yuri, 30
85 Move in very close to me and brush my cheek with your eyelashes. It's so feminine and sweet, it gets me going every time. — Les, 20
86 Sleep in the nude. I love to feel your soft skin when I reach for you in the middle of the night. — Ralph, 33
87 Lie down in front of a full-length mirror so I can watch the action. — Frank, 24
88 Don't be shy about letting me see your face as you climax. — Justin, 21
89 Watch me go down on you. — Ty, 35
90 The most intense moment is when I enter you for the first time, so if we change positions over the course of the night, I can experience that sensation over and over. — Donald, 23
91 Let's be really loud, like wake-up-the-neighbors loud. I want them to know how damm lucky I am! — Sebastian, 31
92 Take my hand and glide it all over your body. It's like you're giving yourself all this pleasure…and I'm just along for the ride. — Roy, 28
93 At the point of no return, go for my lips and give me the most animalistic kiss of your life. — Trent, 30
94 After you shave your legs, lotion them up and wrap them around me. They'll feel so slick. — Steve, 34
95 When I'm pleasuring you with my mouth, don't be afraid to use my head as a steering wheel directing me where I should go. — Wally, 31
96 I once had a girl who only put high thread-count sheets on her bed. It made doing the deed feel more sensual and special. — Bernard, 27
97 Suck my finger in rhythm with my thrusting. — Ned, 22
98 Rub your breasts over my entire body, from head to toe. — Eric, 30
99 Wear nothing but a thin chain belt to bed so I can pull you closer when you're straddling me. — Walter, 31
100 Do a little striptease for me… but please, let me take off your panties for you. — Sam, 20
101 Stay in bed after we finish — I want to feel you against me as the sweat dries and your heartbeat goes back to normal. — Danny, 19

BCR mouse-capades

2006-11-06T21:18:00.000+01:00

By Adrian Telizyn

Did you ever wonder what British Columbia Railway (later BC Rail, now Canadian National) yard crews do in the time between going on duty and actually beginning to move cars around? They hunt.

The mechanical and engineering departments share the station at Fort Nelson, British Columbia. It consists of two offices, a large lunchroom, and two service bays for the car department. It is also teeming with field mice at times.

In early 2004, a fellow named Lindsay held the yard foreman's job and George was his helper for the 2200-hours Fort Nelson Yard assignment. Both men are rather excitable and are also avid big-game hunters.

The lunchroom has a large table in the center, a "fridge" down one side, and a big old metal desk left over from the original 1972 BCR station in one corner. A fax machine sits on the desk.

Lindsay absolutely hates mice. Every night when the crew would come to work, two of the bolder mice would scurry across the floor between the car department's storage room and the crew fridge. And every night, Lindsay would try to catch them.

Lindsay has a big old Husky mix named Justice that would come to work with him. The dog just slept in the corner of the lunchroom, and the mice would even run over it in their effort to get away. He was a very poor mouser!

This drove Lindsay and George nuts.

One night, the smaller of the two mice came out and tried to make a run between the fridge and the old desk. The two men were onto it like a flash. Justice lazily opened one eye, then promptly went back to sleep.

Lindsay saw the mouse go behind the big desk, and George did not see him come out the other side. The hunt was on! Both men began to pull the desk apart, one drawer at a time. They were convinced the mouse was inside.

The fax machine went flying. 'The papers were swept off the top into a heap on the floor. Lindsay heaved on the top center drawer and, not seeing a mouse inside, slammed it partially closed again. George began pulling out the drawers on one side, dumping their contents, while Lindsay started on the other side. Ted Tollifson, the engineer, just stayed put in his seat to watch the show.

Five minutes had gone by, and still there was no sign of the mouse, so Lindsay and George ran out the back door of the station. Ted was beginning to wonder what those two were up to, when the mouse popped up in the center drawer for a look. Ted began to laugh. Up periscope!

"What's so funny?" bellowed Lindsay.

Lindsay and George reappeared with the locomotive watering hose. Oh, no! The mouse disappeared again. Down periscope!

George began to pull out the side drawers and fill them with water.

"Drown him out!" hollered Lindsay. Still, there was no sign of the mouse.

Lindsay then pulled the six now-sloshing drawers out, one at at time. Still no mouse!

"Perhaps he's hiding in the big hollow legs," suggested George.

Both men went for the hose together, turning their backs to the desk. The mouse appeared again in the top center drawer for another look. Up periscope!

Ted began laughing so hard tears were running down his face. The floor was flooded, and those two Keystone Cops still couldn't catch their mouse.

Lindsay grabbed the hose and began to fill the inside of the desk's legs with water. The night's switch list was waterlogged and useless. The phone was ringing. A train was arriving and calling the yard crew on the radio. Two grown men were in a frenzy banging on an old desk. Another was gripped by peals of laughter. And Justice was still sleeping in an ever-growing puddle!

The mouse reappeared again! This time, Lindsay slammed the top drawer shut: "Gotcha!" he yelled. But when George opened the drawer to catch him in a tin can, he was gone.

That was one tough mouse. It deserved to live.

Pest Control

2006-10-16T04:40:00.000+02:00

A woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly.

"Quick," said the woman to her lover," into the closet!" and she pushed him in the closet, stark naked.

The husband, however, became suspicious and after a search of the bedroom discovered the man in the closet. "Who are you?" he asked him.

"I'm an inspector from Bugs-B-Gone," said the exterminator.

"What are you doing in there?" the husband asked.

"I'm investigating a complaint about an infestation of moths," the man replied.

"And where are your clothes?" asked the husband.

The man looked down at himself and said,... "Those little bastards."

Appalachia Childhood

2006-10-09T04:59:00.000+02:00

By Judy C Meeker

Spring passes on into summer. Whippoorwills can be hear calling out to one another like lonesome echoes at first dark until first light. Then a new day dawns across the hills in streaks of lemony colors and dust motes dancing on rays of sunlight.
The light comes shining straight from the sun above, to peek into a tiny window and awaken a sleeping child.
Dudy sits up in bed staring at the dancing dust mites. After a bit boredom sets in, and the little cabin becomes a lonely place with no other child to torture. She slips from the bed ever so careful not to awaken her ma and pa. Poor Ernie-Lou Cottle snores in bliss unaware of Dudy going through a chest of drawers and trying on what few panties she had.
The child makes a selection, and commences to pull them on. Of course they are too big, but that does not hinder Dudy. She pulls them up beneath her stick like arms and ties a knot in the elestic waistband. And after working her mouth over with Ernie's bright lipstick, she grabs a cigarette from a pack of Lucky Strikes and slips out the door.
Dudy's cousin Nell had been awake for some time and is just getting into her pedal car to go down into the hollow and worry their poor old mam-maw to death when she sees Dudy running up the road. 'Ma, Dudy is smokin' again, she screams over her shoulder, then takes off over the loose gravel before the ugly little tobacco worm could catch up and hitch a ride.

The ghost child hides behind behind a curmbling stone and watches in admiration of the tiny mortal pedaling pass the old graveyard. It has one hand gripped around the steering wheel and the other around a store boughten peach. A sugar daddy hangs from its mouth like a cigar, and it all laid back as if it had been driving before Jesus was born! Oh how the little specter is impressed!
Dudy is running behind and throwing rocks. The ghost allows that she hadn't combed her hair in weeks. The wicked little darling's hair is standing out on one side and mashed flat on the other. It also notices that Dudy's mouth is bleeding from ear to ear and allows that Nell had hauled off and mashed it.
The sad little specter watches the wee funny mortal through hollow eyes. Its bloomers keep sliding down its skinny butt and it stops now and then to pull them up. Finally it just holds them up with a grubby paw and keeps on running.
'Gimme soma that sucker, it squalls.'
'Unt-un, Nell denies.
She speeds over the ruts just like a full grown woman, cleverly swerving to the side of the road to avoid the poop before passing the Hatton place. All five of the Hatton youngins' used the dirt road for a toilet. They hear the commotion and four of them come running from the house to stand in the yard. The two year old Hatton is squatted in the road doing its business...
When it sees Nell come speeding around a cruve, the poor little mite jumps up and hurries toward the safty of the yard on its chubby legs, but it is too late. The reckless driver swerves toward it at full speed and knocks it flat on its back, then speeds away as if it was no more than common road kill.
Dudy, having more mercy for the squalling baby carefully steps around it, and accidently steps in a pile of fresh poop!

Dudy's eyes are pools of madness and her hair sticks out about her head like hay, but the ghost child loved the ugly young mortal and its heart was broken at the sight of the pitiful little figure crying and dragging its big boney feet through the sand.
The spirit watches until the two mortals vanish through the trees, then it swirls up in vapors of wispy smoke to hover above the tree-line. It is worried that Nell will make a wreck on the dangerous steep leading down into the hollow. And very well should be- with Dudy running after and grabbing at the bumper-
Sure enough it sees the red haired imp take off down the rocky cow-path at a dangerous speed. They are passing Uncle Willie's little shot-gun shack, when the ghost-child gets a revelation of Dudy catching the tail-gate and being dragged down through the hollow on her bare stomach.
Dudy is reaching to do just that, when she gets a whiff of old freezer burn- [the smell of death]
She feels the essence of the spirit draped over her skinny shoulders, and slowly seeping int her back and through her arms in a numbing sensation. Dudy rebels against it. ''You god-damn nosey little haint, iffen you keep haintin' around, you is gonna fall in love with me, she warns.''
She grits her teeth out of sheer will power and grabs the tail-gate with a cold numb hand. Thus overcoming the frailty of mortal weakness, and over-turning the order of the soul,she holds on tight and does not make a whimper as she is dragged across the gritty sand and into Mam-maw's front yard.
''Screeck, Squalt, Kerthunk!'' Nell slams on her brakes and leaps from the car running, and though Dudy's head had been slammed against the bumper, she is right at Nell's heels and closing in.
Nell is just dashing around the hog-Pen when Dudy grabs her by a long braid and yanks her to the ground. But you might know that Dudy's over-sized bloomers would slid down... She lets loose of Nell's hair long enough to pull them up, and in that split second of time, nell leaps from the ground and jumps up in the air like a riled rooster. She carefully pulls her sucker from the side of her face and places it back between her teeth before swatting Dudy down like a common miller! [moth]
The old woman who had seen the commotion from her front poarch now hears it, and getting the bucket of water that she kept on hand for such occasions, she heads for the hog-pen.
Nell had overcome Dudy who was trying to fight with one hand and hold her bloomers up with the other, and was just about to win the battle by pulling Dudy bald-headed, when Mam-maw dashes in and throws water on them both.
''Wa-wa-wa!'' They squall in unison, running their separate ways. Dudy runs south of the beaten path. Nell runs east toward the wooded area. Now dear reader there is a revelation in these two directions if one has ears to hear and eyes to see...
''I has stopped many a dawg fight with a bucket of cold spring water, Maw-maw giggles around her pipe.''
The old woman goes back to the porch to ponder and wait... Soon the two imps come out of hiding just like she knew they would. They are both shame-faced and nervous. Nell is hiding something behind her back. The old woman guessed it to be candy.
She ignores the stingy imp and turns to Dudy. ''Whatcha doin' out runnin' the ridge in nothin' but your ma's red drawers, and your mouth all painted up like some old strumpet, and another thing, I betcha ain't combed your ratty head since school been out.''
''I combed my hair this mornin'.'' ''Dudy lies.''
''Old John the boogy-man gonna getcha for lyin' to mam-maw, Nell warns.''
Dudy is not concerned about her cousin prediction, but the ghost-child hovering above the eaves is crushed by the news, and says a silent prayer for the tiny mortal who was headed down the path for ruin and damnation.
The old woman glares at Nell's neat appearance and allows cleanliness does not cover a multitude of stinginess. ''Give Dudy soma that sucker you has hid behind your back.''
''Unt-un, Nell denies.''

The old coon hound slips up behind the greedy child to sniff the candy with interest. Mam-maw watches him, a smug glint in her eyes as he slips closer and closer.
With one swift movement of his head, he snatches the candy from her hand and runs under the floor where she can't get him.
The ghost child hears the old hound gnawing on the good sweet taffy, the pitiful screams of Nell, and the harsh cruel laughter of Dudy. It feels that the old woman is well pleased and that her grandchildren will hear a moral to this story. It spirals down through the eaves to blend with her pipe tobacco and to hang around her head like a smokey halo before drifting off into the woods to find peace and quiet.

The old woman listens to her grandchildren. One squalls in rage and grief while the other one mockingly laughs in a pitch that seems to pierce through her head like a needle. When her mouth begins to nervously twitch around the stem of her pipe, she calls out in a loud voice saying, ''You two sum-o-bitches get outa my face and go on home, go on now before I break me a switch and cut the hot piss outa both of you all!''
But it is not until she gets to her feet and walks toward a near by tree do they take their leave.

Head Lice

One night around the first of December, the north wind whispers through the tall white pine. She bends and sways but does not shed her gown beneath old man winter's icy wet kisses as the maple, oak, and hickory had done. The wind dies to a whimper and leaves the modest pine alone to stand fully clothed in a forest of naked trees. Up right and decent, she stands, her lush green gown a sparkle with hoarfrost. But not for long...
By the middle of December her branches would hang across city streets, stretched from pole to pole like long feathery snakes attired in gemstones. This green decoration was call Christmas roping by city folks. It was called tying pine by the gentle hill folks who made it.
Mommy and daddy Cottle had been tying pine all week. They had a big order to fill and so little time. Dudy had hindered them causing them to get behind. Mommy had to stop every hour around the clock to wear the tiny imp out with a pine brush. Watching the child hop about the cabin in showers of green rain and squalling soon begin to wear on their nerves.
Then one day, mommy went to whip Dudy and she had jumped behind the sofa where daddy sit rolling wire. The enraged mommy Cottle had raised the pine brush to strike out at the sofa, but missed and struck daddy Cottle across his face. He had packed Dudy up then and there and drove her to mam-maw Henches, and the old woman had to keep her until roping season was over.

Head Lice

Mam-maw Hench hides a fine toothed comb in her apron pocket, and tips to the poarch on stealth feet. There she sits on a wobbly old bench to smoke her pipe and to wait in perdition for the wicked Dudy Cottle. The old woman wants to catch her grand-daughter and run the comb through her tangled locks, then cut them off to the scalp if possible- The child had let the little Perdue twins wear her coonskin cap on their lice infested heads. Now she had them too. Mam-maw could see the tiny bugs crawling through her hair, but Dudy would not let the old woman get near her with a comb.
She had been trying to catch her for two days now, but the fast young imp had always out run her and hide in the woods.
Dudy's cousin ''Nell Gritt'' comes out with a pair of sissors and reaches them to the old woman. ''Mam-maw are you aimin' to scalp Dudy today?''
''Shhh!'' ''Maw-maw warns around the stem of her pipe. ''Just act like we be done gone and forgot about them lice. ''Don't be namin' it, then when she start pass me on her way in the cabin for sweet-milk and cornbread, I will get her. ''Here she come now, step back Nell soma us is bound to get hurt.''
Nell sees her cousin skipping down the beaten path and singing at the top of her voice.

''It weren't God who made honky tonk angels like you wrote in the words of a song. Too many times married men think they still single and has caused many a good girl to go wrong!''

''He-he-he, Nell giggles.
''Be quiet Mam-maw hisses.''
Every nerve in her body is tensed in readiness to catch the little singer, but Dudy does not come on the porch as the old woman had thought. The child is alerted by her keen insight for survival and commences swinging on the saggy gate instead. ''Gimme some sweet-milk and corn bread.''
Mam-maw ignores the request and tries a different approach. ''Dudy honey, where did you learn that prutty song about them angels? ''I do believe its the pruttiest song I ever heard!''
A shamed smile crosses Dudy's dirty little face. ''I made it up my own self! ''Mommy and daddy say I sing just like Kitty Wells!'' ''She lies''

''Sang me and Nell that one about the blues.'' Mam-maw suggest around her pipe.''
Of course the proud little singer does as it is told.
''Wella I never felt more like singin' the blues, I never thought I'd ever loose your love dear, you got me singin' the blues!''
A sad frown crosses the old woman's kind face. ''That song puts me in mind of poor old Matte. ''Her man up and run off with some old strumpet from outa Letcher County, leaving poor old Matte with five little youngins' to raise all by herself. ''She never did get over that soft headed sum-o-bitch. ''Her heart is broke to this very day.''
After a moment of silence, she turns her mind back to Dudy, and the plight of poor old Matte and her two-face husband is soon forgotton. Dudy commences to show off just like the old woman knew she would. The child stands on its head, does a cart-wheel, jumps up in the air and clicks its heels together before taking a bow.
''Y, pond my honor Dudy C. Cottle, iffen you aint the pertest thing, brags the old woman. ''Come over here and gimme soma that sweet sugar.''
Dudy feels so proud of herself that she is nigh into bursting with pride. A pride that goth before destruction...
The proud imp runs into mam-maw's open arms for a kiss, then like a bolt of lightening the old woman snakes out a hand and grabs her by the nape of the neck. Dudy cannot move her head. Mama-maw holds her like one would hold a poisinous snake.
''He-he-he, Nell giggles. ''Mam-maw aims to comb your hair then scalp your head bald as the tars [tires] on your daddy's truck, the she gonna pour coal-oil over it to kill the nits!''

''You just hush up your mouth Nell before I slap a horse face on yoy, Mam-maw warns, before she begins to cut Dudy's hair. ''Snip-snip-snip!''
''Wa-wa-wa!''
Mam-maw cuts the tangles off to the scalp on one side and goes to cut the other side when the wobbly bench gives away beneath the battle. The old woman lands on her butt, her pipe still clenched between her gums, a surprised look on her face. The sissors fly one way and Dudy flies another, running up the beaten path toward the woods. The right side of her head is bald as a billiard.

The Homeless Woman

2006-10-09T04:50:00.000+02:00

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her purse, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"

"No I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping for baubles instead of buying food?" the woman asked.

"No, I don't waste time shopping," the homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive"

"Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money.

Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.

The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting."

The woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."

Joke of the Day

2006-09-29T10:49:00.000+02:00

Watch Dogs

A girl was visiting her blonde friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.

The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?

"HELLOOOooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"

Read more fresh jokes

Operation

2006-09-29T10:33:00.000+02:00

Sisters of St. Francis

2006-09-29T10:30:00.000+02:00

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye..It reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
10 MILES

He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....Soon he sees another sign which reads:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past a third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS
HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION
NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the Far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, "What may we do for you my son?"

He answers, "I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business.... "

"Very well my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, "Please knock on this door."

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door... This nun instructs, "Please place $100 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway."

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.
YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS. SERVES YOU RIGHT, YOU SINNER

Mind Blowing Facts

2006-09-29T10:23:00.000+02:00

1. Turtles have no teeth.

2. Prehistoric turtles may have weighed as much as 5,000 pounds.

3. Only one out of a thousand baby sea turtles survives after hatching.

4. Sea turtles absorb a lot of salt from the sea water in which they live. They excrete excess salt from their eyes, so it often looks as though they're crying.

5. Helium is a colourless, odourless, tasteless inert gas at room temperature and makes up about 0.0005% of the air we breathe.

6. Helium Balloon Gas makes balloons float. Helium is lighter than air and just as the heaviest things will tend to fall to the bottom, the lightest things will rise to the top.

7. Helium Balloon Gas makes balloons float. Helium is lighter than air and just as the heaviest things will tend to fall to the bottom, the lightest things will rise to the top.

8. Camels can spit.

9. An ostrich can run 43 miles per hour (70 kilometers per hour).

10. Pigs are the fourth most intelligent animal in the world.

11. Dinosaurs didn't eat grass? There was no grass in the days of the dinosaurs.

12. Dolphins can swim 37 miles per hour (60 kilometers per hour).

13. A crocodile's tongue is attached to the roof of its mouth? It cannot move. It cannot chew but its Digestive juices are so strong that it can digest a steel nail, Glass pieces, etc

14. Sharks are immune to disease i.e they do not suffer from any Disease.

15. Animals are either right-or left-handed? Polar bears are always left-handed, and so is Kermit the Frog.

16. Paris, France has more dogs than people.

17. New Zealand is home to 70 million sheep and only 40 million people.

18. Male polar bears weigh 1400 pounds and females only weight 550 pounds, on average.

19. Bison are excellent swimmers? Their head, hump and tail never go below the surface of the water.

20. There are 6 to 14 frogs species in the world that have no tongues. One of these is the African dwarf frog.

21. A frog named Santjie, who was in a frog derby in South Africa jumped 33 feet 5.5 inches.

22. The longest life span of a frog was 40 years

23. The eyes of a frog flatten down when it swallows its prey

24. The name `India' is derived from the River Indus

25. The Persian invaders converted it into Hindu. The name `Hindustan' combines Sindhu and Hindu and thus refers to the land of the Hindus.

26. Chess was invented in India.

27. The' place value system' and the 'decimal system' were developed in 100 BC in India.

28. The game of snakes & ladders was created by the 13th century poet saint Gyandev. It was originally called 'Mokshapat.' The ladders in the game represented virtues and the snakes indicated vices.

29. India has the most post offices in the world

30. 'Navigation' is derived from the Sanskrit word NAVGATIH

31. The word navy is also derived from the Sanskrit word 'Nou'.

32. Until 1896, India was the only source for diamonds to the world

33. The' place value system' and the 'decimal system' were developed in 100 BC in India.

34. A snail can sleep for 3 years.

35. The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start

36. Twenty-Four-Karat Gold is not pure gold since there is a small amount of copper in it. Absolutely pure gold is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.

37. Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a field around the wire.

38. The first bicycle that was made in 1817 by Baron von Drais didn't have any pedals? People walked it along

39. The first steam powered train was invented by Robert Stephenson. It was called the Rocket.

40. A cheetah does not roar like a lion - it purrs like a cat (meow).

41. The original name for the butterfly was 'flutterby'

42. An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

43. Ants don't sleep.

44. Dolphins usually live up to about twenty years, but have been known to live for about forty.

45. Dolphins sleep in a semi-alert state by resting one side of their brain at a time

46. A dolphin can hold its breath for 5 to 8 minutes at a time

47. Bats can detect warmth of an animal from about 16 cm away using its "nose-leaf".

48. Bats can also find food up to 18 ft. away and get information about the type of insect using their sense of echolocation.

49. The eyes of the chameleon can move independently & can see in two different directions at the same time.

50. Cockroach: Can detect movement as small as 2,000 times the diameter of a hydrogen atom.

51. Dragonfly: Eye contains 30,000 lenses.

52. Pig's Tongue contains 15,000 taste buds. For comparison, the human tongue has 9,000 taste buds.

53. The number system was invented by India. Aryabhatta was the scientist who invented the digit zero.

54. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

55. Earth weighs 5,972,000,000, 000,000,000, 000 tons

56. Like fingerprints, everyone's tongue print is different.

57. A duck's quack doesn't echo anywhere

58. Man is the only animal who'll eat with an enemy

59. The average woman uses about her height in lipstick every five years.

60. The first Christmas was celebrated on December 25,

61. AD 336 in Rome.

62. A Cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.

63. A chimpanzee can learn to recognize itself in a mirror, but monkeys can't

64. A rat can last longer without water than a camel can 65. About 10% of the world's population is left-handed 66. Dolphins sleep with one eye open

67. Snakes have no external ears. Therefore, they do not hear the music of a "snake charmer". Instead, they are probably responding to the movements of the snake charmer and the flute. However, sound waves may travel through bones in their heads to the middle ear.

68. Many spiders have eight eyes.

69. The tongue of snakes has no taste buds. Instead, the tongue is used to bring smells and tastes into the mouth. Smells and tastes are then detected in two pits, called "Jacobson's organs", on the roof of their mouths. Receptors in the pits then transmit smell and taste information to the brain.

70. Birds don't sweat

71. The highest kangaroo leap recorded is 10 ft and the longest is 42 ft

72. Flamingo tongues were eaten common at Roman feasts

73. The smallest bird in the world is the Hummingbird. It weighs 1oz

74. The bird that can fly the fastest is called a White it can fly up to 95 miles per hour.

75. The oldest living thing on earth is 12,000 years old. It is the flowering shrubs called creosote bushes in the Mojave Desert

76. Tea is said to have been discovered in 2737 BC by a Chinese emperor when some tea leaves accidentally blew into a pot of boiling water.

77. A person can live without food for about a month, but only about a week without water. If the amount of water in your body is reduced by just 1%, you'll feel thirsty. If it's reduced by 10%, you'll die.

78. Along with its length neck, the giraffe has a very long tongue -- more than a foot and a half long. A giraffe can clean its ears with its 21-inch tongue

79. Ostriches can kick with tremendous force, but only forward. Don't Mess with them

80. An elephant can smell water three miles away

81. If you were to remove your skin, it would weigh as much as 5 pounds

82. A hippopotamus can run faster than a man

83. India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history

84. The world's known tallest man is Robert Pershing Wadlow. The giraffe is 5.49m (18 ft.), the man is 2.55m (8ft. 11.1 in.).

85. The world's tallest woman is Sandy Allen. She is 2.35m (7 ft. 7 in.).

86. The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning its head are the rabbit and the parrot.

87. The blue whale is the largest animal on earth. The heart of a blue whale is as big as a car, and its tongue is as long as an elephant.

88. The largest bird egg in the world today is that of the ostrich. Ostrich eggs are from 6 to 8 inches long. Because of their size and the thickness of their shells, they take 40 minutes to hard-boil. The average adult male ostrich, the world's largest living bird, weighs up to 345 pounds.

89. Every dolphin has its own signature whistle to distinguish it from other dolphins, much like a human fingerprint

90. The world's largest mammal, the blue whale, weighs 50 tons i.e. 50000 Kg at birth. Fully grown, it weighs as much as 150 tons i.e. 150000 Kg.

91. 90 % of all the ice in the world in on Antarctica

92. Antarctica is DRIEST continent. Antarctica is a desert

93. Antarctica is COLDEST continent, averaging minus 76 degrees in the winter

94. Mercury is the closest planet to the sun and it doesn't have a moon. Its atmosphere is so thin that during the day the temperature reaches 750 degrees, but at night it gets down to -300 degrees.

95. Jupiter is the largest planet. If Jupiter were hollow, you could fit 1000 earths inside! It is made up of gas and is not solid. The most famous feature on Jupiter is its Red Spot, which is actually an enormous hurricane that has been raging on Jupiter for hundreds of years! Sixteen moons orbit Jupiter.

96. Saturn is a very windy place! Winds can reach up to 1,100 miles per hour. Saturn is also made of gas. If you could find an ocean large enough, it would float. This planet is famous for its beautiful rings, and has at least 18 moons.

97. Uranus is the third largest planet, and is also made of gas. It's tilted on its side and spins north-south rather than east-west. Uranus has 15 moons.

98. Neptune takes 165 Earth years to get around the sun. It appears blue because it is made of methane gas. Neptune also has a big Spot like Jupiter. Winds on Neptune get up to 1,200 mile per hour! Neptune has 8 moons.

99. Pluto is the farthest planet from the sun... usually. It has such an unusual orbit that it is occasionally closer to the sun than Neptune. Pluto is made of rock and ice.

100. Just about everyone listens to the radio! 99% of homes in the United States have a least one radio. Most families have several radios.

101. Sound is sent from the radio station through the air to your radio by means of electromagnetic waves. News, music, Bible teaching, baseball games, plays, advertisements-these sounds are all converted into electromagnetic waves (radio waves) before they reach your radio and your ears.

102. At the radio station, the announcer speaks into a microphone. The microphone changes the sound of his voice into an electrical signal. This signal is weak and can't travel very far, so it's sent to a transmitter. The transmitter mixes the signal with some strong radio signals called carrier waves. These waves are then sent out through a special antenna at the speed of light! They reach the antenna of your radio. Your antenna "catches" the signal, and the radio's amplifier strengthens the signal and sends it to the speakers. The speakers vibrate, and your ears pick up the vibrations and your brain translates them into the voice of the radio announcer back at the station. When you consider all the places the announcer's voice travels

103. Every radio station has its own frequency. When you turn the tuning knob on your radio, you are choosing which frequency you want your antenna to "catch."

104. Mountain lions are known by more than 100 names, including panther, catamount, cougar, painter and puma. It's scientific name is Felis concolor, which means "cat of one color." At one time, mountain lions were very common!

105. The large cats of the world are divided into two groups-those that roar, like tigers and African lions, and those that purr. Mountain lions purr, hiss, scream, and snarl, but they cannot roar.

106. They can jump a distance of 30 feet, and jump as high as 15 feet. It would take quite a fence to keep a mountain lion out!

107. Their favorite food is deer, but they'll eat other critters as well. They hunt alone, not in packs like wolves. They sneak up on their prey just like a house cat sneaks up on a bird or toy-one slow step at a time. A lion can eat ten pounds of meat at one time! That's equivalent to 40 quarter-pounder hamburgers!

108. Queen ants can live to be 30 years old

109. Dragonflies can flap their wings 28 times per second and they can fly up to 60 miles per hour

110. As fast as dragonflies can flap their wings, bees are even faster... they can flap their wings 435 times per second

111. Human thigh bones are stronger than concrete.

112. You can't kill yourself by holding your breath

113. Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day

114. Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people

115. The elephant is the only mammal that can't jump!

116. Fingernails grow nearly 4 times faster than toenails!

117. Women blink nearly twice as much as men

118. Honey is the only food that does not spoil. Honey found in the tombs of Egyptian pharaohs has been tasted by archaeologists and found edible

119. Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren't added to it.

120. More people are allergic to cow's milk than any other food.

121. Camels have three eyelids to protect themselves from blowing sand

122. Earth is the only planet not named after a god.

123. It's against the law to burp, or sneeze in a church in Nebraska, USA.

124. Some worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food!

125. It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open

126. Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness. She declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not

127. Slugs have 4 noses.

128. Owls are the only birds who can see the colour blue.

129. Your tongue is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end

130. More than 1,000 different languages are spoken on the continent of Africa.

131. There was once an undersea post office in the Bahamas.

132. Abraham Lincoln's mother died when she drank the milk of a cow that grazed on poisonous snakeroot

133. After the death of Albert Einstein his brain was removed by a pathologist and put in a jar for future study.

134. Penguins are not found in the North Pole

135. A dentist invented the Electric Chair.

136. A whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound

137. Alexander Graham Bell's wife and mother were both deaf

138. Cockroaches break wind every 15 minutes.

139. Fish scales are an ingredient in most lipsticks

140. Canada" is an Indian word meaning "Big Village".

141. 259200 people die every day.

142. 11% of the world is left-handed

143. 1.7 litres of saliva is produced each day

144. The worlds oldest piece of chewing gum is 9000 years old!

145. The largest beetle in the Americas is the Hercules beetle, which can be 4 to 6 inches in length. That's bigger than your hand!

146. A full-grown male mountain lion may be 9 feet long, including his tail!

147. There are two kinds of radio stations: AM and FM. That's why there are two dials on your radio. AM is used mostly for stations that specialize in talking, such as Christian stations that have Bible stories and sermons; sports stations that broadcast live baseball and football games; and stations that specialize in news programs and "talk shows," where listeners call the station and discuss various topics. FM is used mostly for stations that specialize in music.

148. The average lead pencil can draw a line that is almost 35 miles long or you can write almost 50,000 words in English with just one pencil

149. The Wright Brothers invented one of the first airplanes. It was called the Kitty Hawk.

150. The worst industrial disaster in India, occurred in 1984 in Bhopal the capital of Madhya Pradesh. A deadly chemical, methly isocyanate leaked out of the Union Carbide factory killing more than 2500 and leaving thousands sick. In fact the effects of this gas tragedy is being felt even today.

151. Mars is nicknamed the "Red Planet," because it looks reddish in the night sky. Mars has 2 moons.

152. Venus is nicknamed the "Jewel of the Sky." Because of the greenhouse effect, it is hotter than Mercury, even though it's not as close to the sun. Venus does not have a moon but it does have clouds of sulfuric acid! If you're gonna visit Venus, pack your gas mask!

153. Tens of thousands of participants come from all over the world, fight in a harmless battle where more than one hundred metric tons of over-ripe tomatoes are thrown in the streets.

Monster Bunny on the Loose!

2006-09-17T23:31:00.000+02:00

The escaped bunny could look like this "German Giant," which weighs 10 kg (22 lbs).

Recently, gardeners in England got a big surprise. A giant, floppy-eared bunny — the size of a dog! — snuck into their vegetable gardens and gobbled up their turnips and carrots.

According to the British Rabbit Council, the black and brown rabbit may be an escaped pet. It is believed that the rabbit is a type of Continental Giant rabbit, which can weigh a whopping 7 kilograms (15 pounds). That's one pudgy pet!

Like all rabbits, this one is an herbivore (HUR-beh-VORE), or an animal that eats plants. So a veggie garden is a great place for it to find a meal.

Gardeners are now in hot pursuit of the bounding bunny. "Rabbits can dart [away] pretty fast," says Wendy Feaga, an animal doctor in Maryland. When they spot danger, bunnies can scurry at 29 kilometers (18 miles) per hour.

So gardeners better hop to it before the bunny gobbles all the veggies!

Source: Scholastic SuperScience, Sep2006

Oops .. Funny Situation .. :)

2006-09-17T23:19:00.000+02:00

NWHRC Issues Report Alerting Consumers on Protecting Eyes from Sun

2006-09-07T11:59:00.000+02:00

Red Bank, NJ—The National Women's Health Resource Center (NWHRC) has published its latest Fast Facts about how the sun's rays affect one's eyes and offers consumers advice on how to lessen the risk of developing eye conditions such as cataracts and age-related macular degeneration.
Consumers are advised to wear sunglasses that transmit no more than 1% UVB and UVA rays. They should look for sunwear that blocks 99% of UV radiation (UVR), according to "The Sun & Your Eyes: What You Should Know" report.
Consumers should also consider choosing lenses that cover the eye completely. Wrap-around lenses are preferable. They should also be aware that gray lenses provide the greatest protection. If one spends a lot of time in the sun, darker lenses are better than lighter ones.
The report also mentions the dangers of UV rays reflected off different surfaces, such as snow, sand, water, or concrete. Studies have shown that grass, soil, and water reflect less than 10% of UV radiation, whereas fresh snow reflects up to 80% of UV rays.
The time of day also has an effect on UVR exposure. At noon, the UVR dose may be 10 times higher than the dose 3 hours earlier or later. The report was supported by aii educational grant from Vistakon.

Ophthalmology Times, 8/15/2006

Japanese Anecdotes

2006-09-01T13:06:00.000+02:00

By http://japan.freetraveler.net/

My father was taking a bath when he suddenly shouted, "Good heavens! I have a nosebleed coming from somewhere!"

I wonder, just where on my father could a "nosebleed" have come from...?

On the Hankyu Railway train, a boy of about 3 looked liked he had to pee.

Child: "Mama potty."

Mama: "Why don't you tell me sooner [hayaku]!"

Then the child thought of something and said rapidly [hayaku], "Mamapotty."

On the airplane to Okinawa, my father said pompously, "All of the islands of Okinawa have 'reference fish' [sanshouuo]!"

That should be "coral reef [fish]" [sangoshouuo]!!

On the "If I don't do it, who will?" sign inside a certain factory, the voicing marks on the ga of "who" were shaved off [changing dare ga, "who," to dare ka, "someone"] , making it "If I don't do it, someone will."

And this company's future will be....

The other day my sister was feeling blue because a boy had dumped her, so to comfort her my father meant to say "A person isn't [just] a face" but said "Your face isn't human."

My mother was watching TV when a beautiful female announcer came on. My mother said with a smile, "It'd be nice if someone like that married into our family."

But in my family the only guy is my father. Just who does my mother want a bride for?

At the confectioner's my mother asked for the country-style (crushed) sweet red-bean soup, and I asked for the strained sweet red-bean soup.

When the clerk asked, "Who (dochira) had the country-style (inaka)?" [but possibly "Where (dochira) is your hometown (inaka)?"], my mother answered instantly "Niigata prefecture."

During a marital spat, my father meant to say to my mother "Idiot!" [bakamono] but mistakenly shouted "Ghost!" [bakemono].

The quarrel got much worse.

When my mother gets a headache, she puts ice on her forehead.

Just the other day in the middle of the night, the pain got pretty severe. Through the darkness with her head swimming, she went to the kitchen. From the refrigerator she took out a plastic bag of ice that she'd put there in advance, put it on her forehead, and went back to sleep....

The next morning when she woke up, thawed squid had rolled onto her pillow.

One time when the family was gathered for dinner, my dad, who was mad about something, meant to say "Thanks to whom do you think you're able to eat this meal?!" but shouted "For whose benefit are you eating this meal?!"

My sister and I answered, "For our own benefit."

Three Guys and a Friend

2006-08-25T10:01:00.000+02:00

Three guys are talking in the coffee room and boasting of the successes of their sons.

The first says:

"My son left university with a first, joined Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said,

"Damn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, he then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new "jet for his birthday."

The third man said:

"Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive

to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons....What about your son?"

The fourth man replied:
"My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said: "What a shame...what a disappointment."

The fourth man replied:
"No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him."

"And he's lucky, too. His birthday just passed and the other day he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."

He'd Probably Approve

2006-08-20T14:31:00.000+02:00

Crazy Photoshop

2006-08-20T00:19:00.000+02:00

I am admired

2006-08-05T03:05:00.000+02:00

http://cybergirlsnotes.blogspot.com/

Purina Diet

2006-08-05T02:44:00.000+02:00

I used to have a Labrador retriever & was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart, waiting in the check-out line. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. But, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry, as the food is nutritionally complete.
So, I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, especially a tall heavy man behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned.
I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

The tall guy nearly had to stagger out of the store, oxygen-depleted from laughter. I paid for the food and left a lot of smiles behind me.

You were not involved

2006-08-05T02:35:00.000+02:00

A guy, sitting outside his home about to be evicted from his house, was contemplating how the future would be after he had divorced his wife, lost his children and lost his job. He notices a crate of beer bottles and walks up to it.

He takes out an empty bottle, smashing it into the concrete wall swearing, "You are the reason I don't have a wife", second bottle, "You are the reason I don't have my children", third bottle "You are the reason I lost my job".

He notices the fourth bottle is sealed and still full of beer. He takes the bottle, puts it aside and says

"Stand aside my dear friend; I know you were not involved".

Funny Photos

2006-08-05T02:31:00.000+02:00

See more photos here http://verycrazystudent.blogspot.com/

Names of Phobias & what they are

2006-07-24T01:17:00.000+02:00

Below r the Names of Phobias & what they are? For your kind information.

A-
Abuse: sexual- Contreltophobia.
Accidents- Dystychiphobia.
Air- Anemophobia.
Air swallowing- Aerophobia.
Airborne noxious substances- Aerophobia.
Airsickness- Aeronausiphobia.
Alcohol- Methyphobia or Potophobia.
Alone, being- Autophobia or Monophobia.
Alone, being or solitude- Isolophobia.
Amnesia- Amnesiphobia.
Anger- Angrophobia or Cholerophobia.
Angina- Anginophobia.
Animals- Zoophobia.
Animals, skins of or fur- Doraphobia.
Animals, wild- Agrizoophobia.
Ants- Myrmecophobia.
Anything new- Neophobia.
Asymmetrical things- Asymmetriphobia
Atomic Explosions- Atomosophobia.
Automobile, being in a moving- Ochophobia.
Automobiles- Motorphobia.

B-

Bacteria- Bacteriophobia.
Bald people- Peladophobia.
Bald, becoming- Phalacrophobia.
Bathing- Ablutophobia.
Beards- Pogonophobia.
Beaten by a rod or instrument of punishment, or of being severely criticized- Rhabdophobia.
Beautiful women- Caligynephobia.
Beds or going to bed- Clinophobia.
Bees- Apiphobia or Melissophobia.
Bicycles- Cyclophobia.
Birds- Ornithophobia.
Black- Melanophobia.
Blindness in a visual field- Scotomaphobia.
Blood- Hemophobia, Hemaphobia or Hematophobia.
Blushing or the color red- Erythrophobia, Erytophobia or Ereuthophobia.
Body odors- Osmophobia or Osphresiophobia.
Body, things to the left side of the body- Levophobia.
Body, things to the right side of the body- Dextrophobia.
Bogeyman or bogies- Bogyphobia.
Bolsheviks- Bolshephobia.
Books- Bibliophobia.
Bound or tied up- Merinthophobia.
Bowel movements: painful- Defecaloesiophobia.
Brain disease- Meningitophobia.
Bridges or of crossing them- Gephyrophobia.
Buildings: being close to high buildings- Batophobia.
Bullets- Ballistophobia.
Bulls- Taurophobia.
Bums or beggars- Hobophobia.
Burglars, or being harmed by wicked persons- Scelerophobia.
Buried alive, being or cemeteries- Taphephobia or Taphophobia.

C-

Cancer- Cancerophobia, Carcinophobia.
Car or vehicle, riding in- Amaxophobia.
Cats- Aclurophobia, Ailurophobia, Elurophobia, Felinophobia, Galeophobia, or Gatophobia.
Celestial spaces- Astrophobia.
Cemeteries- Coimetrophobia.
Cemeteries or being buried alive- Taphephobia or Taphophobia.
Ceremonies, religious- Teleophobia.
Changes, making; moving- Tropophobia or Metathesiophobia.
Chickens- Alektorophobia.
Child, bearing a deformed; deformed people- Teratophobia.
Childbirth- Maleusiophobia, Tocophobia, Parturiphobia, or Lockiophobia.
Children- Pedophobia.
Chinese or Chinese culture- Sinophobia.
Chins- Geniophobia.
Choking or being smothered- Pnigophobia or Pnigerophobia.
Choking- Anginophobia.
Cholera- Cholerophobia.
Chopsticks- Consecotaleophobia.
Church- Ecclesiophobia.
Clocks- Chronomentrophobia.
Clocks or time- Chronophobia.
Clothing- Vestiphobia.
Clouds- Nephophobia.
Clowns- Coulrophobia.
Coitus- Coitophobia.
Cold or cold things- Frigophobia.
Cold: extreme, ice or frost- Cryophobia.
Cold- Cheimaphobia, Cheimatophobia, Psychrophobia or Psychropophobia.
Color purple- Porphyrophobia.
Color red or blushing- Erythrophobia, Erytophobia or Ereuthophobia.
Color yellow- Xanthophobia.
Color white- Leukophobia.
Colors- Chromophobia or Chromatophobia.
Comets- Cometophobia.
Computers or working on computers- Cyberphobia.
Confined spaces- Claustrophobia.
Constipation- Coprastasophobia.
Contamination, dirt or infection- Molysmophobia or Molysomophobia.
Contamination with dirt or germs- Misophobia or Mysophobia.
Cooking- Mageirocophobia.
Corpses- Necrophobia.
Cosmic Phenomenon- Kosmikophobia.
Creepy, crawly things- Herpetophobia.
Criticized severely, or beaten by rod or instrument of punishment- Rhabdophobia.
Criticism- Enissophobia.
Crosses or the crucifix- Staurophobia.
Crossing streets- Agyrophobia or Dromophobia.
Crowded public places like markets- Agoraphobia.
Crowds or mobs- Enochlophobia, Demophobia or Ochlophobia.
Crucifix, the or crosses- Staurophobia.
Crystals or glass- Crystallophobia.

D-

Dampness, moisture or liquids- Hygrophobia.
Dancing- Chorophobia.
Dark or night- Nyctophobia.
Dark place, being in- Lygophobia.
Darkness- Achluophobia or Myctophobia, or Scotophobia.
Dawn or daylight- Eosophobia.
Daylight or sunshine- Phengophobia.
Death or dying- Thanatophobia.
Death or dead things- Necrophobia.
Decaying matter- Seplophobia.
Decisions: making decisions- Decidophobia.
Defeat- Kakorrhaphiophobia.
Deformed people or bearing a deformed child- Teratophobia.
Deformity or unattractive body image- Dysmorphophobia.
Demons- Demonophobia or Daemonophobia.
Dental surgery- Odontophobia.
Dentists- Dentophobia.
Dependence on others- Soteriophobia.
Depth- Bathophobia.
Diabetes- Diabetophobia.
Dining or dinner conversations- Deipnophobia.
Dirt, contamination or infection- Molysmophobia or Molysomophobia.
Dirt or germs, being contaminated with- Misophobia or mysophobia.
Dirt or filth- Rhypophobia or Rupophobia.
Dirty, being dirty or personal filth- Automysophobia.
Disease- Nosophobia, Nosemaphobia or Pathophobia.
Disease and suffering- Panthophobia.
Disease, a definite- Monopathophobia.
Disease, brain- Meningitophobia.
Disease: kidney- Albuminurophobia.
Disease, rectal- Rectophobia.
Disorder or untidiness- Ataxophobia.
Dizziness or vertigo when looking down- Illyngophobia.
Dizziness or whirlpools- Dinophobia.
Doctor, going to the- Iatrophobia.
Doctrine, challenges to or radical deviation from official- Heresyphobia or Hereiophobia.
Dogs or rabies- Cynophobia.
Dolls- Pediophobia.
Double vision- Diplophobia.
Drafts- Aerophobia or Anemophobia.
Dreams, wet- Oneirogmophobia.
Dreams- Oneirophobia.
Drinking- Dipsophobia.
Drugs, new- Neopharmaphobia.
Drugs or taking medicine- Pharmacophobia.
Dryness- Xerophobia.
Dust- Amathophobia or Koniophobia.
Dust- Amathophobia.
Duty or responsibility, neglecting- Paralipophobia.
Dying or death- Thanatophobia.

E-

Eating or swallowing- Phagophobia.
Eating or food- Sitophobia or Sitiophobia.
Eating or swallowing or of being eaten- Phagophobia.
Eight, the number- Octophobia.
Electricity- Electrophobia.
Englishness- Anglophobia.
Erect penis- Medorthophobia.
Erection, losing an- Medomalacuphobia.
Everything- Panophobia, Panphobia, Pamphobia, or Pantophobia.
Eyes- Ommetaphobia or Ommatophobia.
Eyes, opening one's- Optophobia..

F-

Fabrics, certain- Textophobia.
Failure- Atychiphobia or Kakorrhaphiophobia.
Fainting- Asthenophobia.
Fatigue- Kopophobia.
Fearful situations: being preferred by a phobic- Counterphobia.
Feathers or being tickled by feathers- Pteronophobia.
Fecal matter, feces- Coprophobia or Scatophobia.
Female genitals- Kolpophobia.
Female genitalia- Eurotophobia.
Fever- Febriphobia, Fibriphobia, Fidriophobia or Pyrexiophobia.
Filth or dirt- Rhypophobia.
Fire- Arsonphobia or Pyrophobia.
Firearms- Hoplophobia.
Fish- Ichthyophobia.
Flashes- Selaphobia.
Flogging or punishment- Mastigophobia.
Floods- Antlophobia.
Flowers- Anthrophobia or Anthophobia.
Flutes- Aulophobia.
Flying- Aviophobia or Aviatophobia or Pteromerhanophobia.
Fog- Homichlophobia or Nebulaphobia.
Food or eating- Sitophobia or Sitiophobia.
Food- Cibophobia.
Foreigners or strangers- Xenophobia.
Foreign languages- Xenoglossophobia.
Forests or wooden objects- Xylophobia.
Forests- Hylophobia.
Forests, dark wooded area, of at night- Nyctohylophobia
Forgetting or being forgotten- Athazagoraphobia.
France or French culture- Francophobia, Gallophobia or Galiphobia.
Freedom- Eleutherophobia.
Friday the 13th- Paraskavedekatriaphobia.
Frogs- Batrachophobia.
Frost, ice or extreme cold- Cryophobia.
Frost or ice- Pagophobia.
Functioning or work: surgeon's fear of operating- Ergasiophobia.
Fur or skins of animals- Doraphobia.

G-

Gaiety- Cherophobia.
Garlic- Alliumphobia.
Genitals, particularly female- Kolpophobia.
Genitalia, female- Eurotophobia.
Germans or German culture- Germanophobia or Teutophobia.
Germs or dirt, being contaminated with- Misophobia or mysophobia.
Germs- Verminophobia.
Ghosts or specters- Spectrophobia.
Ghosts- Phasmophobia.
Girls, young or virgins- Parthenophobia.
Glass or crystals- Crystallophobia.
Glass- Hyelophobia, Hyalophobia or Nelophobia.
Gloomy place, being in- Lygophobia.
God or gods- Zeusophobia.
Gods or religion- Theophobia.
Gold- Aurophobia.
Good news, hearing good news- Euphobia.
Gravity- Barophobia.
Greek or Greek culture- Hellophobia.
Greek terms- Hellenologophobia.

H-

Hair- Chaetophobia, Trichopathophobia, Trichophobia, or Hypertrichophobia.
Halloween- Samhainophobia.
Hands- Chirophobia.
Handwriting- Graphophobia.
Harmed by wicked persons; bad men or burglars- Scelerophobia.
Heart- Cardiophobia.
Heat- Thermophobia.
Heaven- Ouranophobia or Uranophobia.
Heights- Acrophobia, Altophobia, Batophobia, Hypsiphobia or Hyposophobia.
Hell- Hadephobia, Stygiophobia or Stigiophobia.
Heredity- Patroiophobia.
Holy things- Hagiophobia.
Home- Ecophobia.
Home surroundings or a house- Oikophobia.
Home, returning- Nostophobia.
Home surroundings- Eicophobia.
Homosexuality or of becoming homosexual- Homophobia.
Horses- Equinophobia or Hippophobia.
Hospitals- Nosocomephobia.
House or home surroundings- Oikophobia.
Houses or being in a house- Domatophobia.
Hurricanes and tornadoes- Lilapsophobia.
Hypnotized, being or of sleep- Hypnophobia.

I-

Ice or frost- Pagophobia.
Ice, frost or extreme cold- Cryophobia.
Ideas- Ideophobia.
Ignored, being- Athazagoraphobia.
Imperfection- Atelophobia.
Inability to stand- Basiphobia or Basophobia.
Infection, contamination or dirt- Molysmophobia or Molysomophobia.
Infinity- Apeirophobia.
Injections- Trypanophobia.
Injury- Traumatophobia.
Insanity, dealing with- Lyssophobia.
Insanity- Dementophobia or Maniaphobia.
Insects- Acarophobia or Entomophobia or Insectophobia.
Insects that eat wood- Isopterophobia.
Insects that cause itching- Acarophobia.
Itching- Acarophobia.

J-

Japanese or Japanese culture- Japanophobia.
Jealousy- Zelophobia.
Jews- Judeophobia.
Joint immobility- Ankylophobia.
Jumping from high and low places- Catapedaphobia.
Justice- Dikephobia.

K-

Kidney disease- Albuminurophobia.
Kissing- Philemaphobia or Philematophobia.
Knees- Genuphobia.
Knowledge- Gnosiophobia or Epistemophobia.

L-

Lakes- Limnophobia.
Large things- Megalophobia.
Laughter- Geliophobia.
Lawsuits- Liticaphobia.
Learning- Sophophobia.
Left-handed; objects at the left side of the body- Sinistrophobia.
Leprosy- Leprophobia or Lepraphobia.
Lice- Pediculophobia or Phthiriophobia.
Light- Photophobia.
Light flashes- Selaphobia.
Lightning and thunder- Brontophobia or Karaunophobia.
Lights, glaring- Photoaugliaphobia.
Liquids, dampness or moisture- Hygrophobia.
Locked in an enclosed place- Cleithrophobia, Cleisiophobia, or Clithrophobia.
Lockjaw or tetanus- Tetanophobia.
Loneliness or of being oneself- Eremophobia or Eremiphobia.
Looking up- Anablephobia or Anablepophobia.
Loud noises- Ligyrophobia.
Love, sexual love- Erotophobia.
Love play- Malaxophobia or Sarmassophobia.
Love, falling or being in- Philophobia.

M-

Machines- Mechanophobia.
Mad, becoming- Lyssophobia.
Many things- Polyphobia.
Marriage- Gamophobia.
Materialism- Hylephobia.
Matter, decaying- Seplophobia.
Meat- Carnophobia.
Medicine, taking; or drugs- Pharmacophobia.
Medicines, mercurial- Hydrargyophobia.
Medicine, prescribing by a doctor- Opiophobia.
Memories- Mnemophobia.
Men, bad or burglars or being harmed by wicked persons- Scelerophobia.
Men- Androphobia or Arrhenphobia or Hominophobia.
Menstruation- Menophobia.
Mercurial medicines- Hydrargyophobia.
Metal- Metallophobia.
Meteors- Meteorophobia.
Mice- Musophobia, Murophobia or Suriphobia.
Microbes- Bacillophobia or Microbiophobia.
Mind- Psychophobia.
Mirrors or seeing oneself in a mirror- Eisoptrophobia.
Mirrors- Catoptrophobia.
Missiles- Ballistophobia.
Mobs or crowds- Demophobia, Enochlophobia or Ochlophobia.
Moisture, dampness or liquids- Hygrophobia.
Money- Chrometophobia or Chrematophobia.
Moon- Selenophobia.
Mother-in-law- Pentheraphobia.
Moths- Mottephobia.
Motion or movement- Kinetophobia or Kinesophobia.
Moving or making changes- Tropophobia.
Moving automobile or vehicle, being in- Ochophobia.
Muscular incoordination (Ataxia)- Ataxiophobia.
Mushrooms- Mycophobia.
Music- Melophobia.
Myths or stories or false statements- Mythophobia.

N-

Names or hearing a certain name- Onomatophobia.
Names- Nomatophobia.
Narrow things or places- Stenophobia.
Narrowness- Anginophobia.
Needles- Aichmophobia or Belonephobia.
New, anything or novel- Kainophobia, Kainolophobia, Cenophobia, Centophobia, or Neophobia.
Newness- Cainophobia, Cenophobia, Centophobia, or Cainotophobia.
News: hearing good news- Euphobia.
Night or dark- Nyctophobia.
Night- Noctiphobia.
Noise- Acousticophobia.
Noises, loud- Ligyrophobia.
Noises or voices, speaking aloud, or telephones- Phonophobia.
Northern lights- Auroraphobia.
Nosebleeds- Epistaxiophobia.
Novelty or anything new- Kainophobia or Kainolophobia.
Novelty- Cainophobia or Cainotophobia.
Nuclear weapons- Nucleomituphobia.
Nudity- Gymnophobia or Nudophobia.
Number 8- Octophobia.
Number 13- Triskadekaphobia.
Numbers- Arithmophobia or Numerophobia.

O-

Objects, small- Tapinophobia.
Ocean or sea- Thalassophobia.
Odor, personal- Bromidrosiphobia, Bromidrophobia, Osmophobia or Osphresiophobia.
Odor, that one has a vile odor- Autodysomophobia.
Odors or smells- Olfactophobia.
Official doctrine, challenges to or radical deviation from- Heresyphobia or Hereiophobia.
Old people- Gerontophobia.
Old, growing- Gerascophobia or Gerontophobia.
Open spaces- Agoraphobia.
Open high places- Aeroacrophobia.
Operation, surgical- Tomophobia.
Opinions- Allodoxaphobia.
Opinions, expressing- Doxophobia.
Others, dependence on- Soteriophobia.
Otters- Lutraphobia.
Outer space- Spacephobia.

P-

Pain- Algiophobia, Ponophobia, Odynophobia or Odynephobia.
Paper- Papyrophobia.
Parasites- Parasitophobia.
Parents-in-law- Soceraphobia.
Peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth- Arachibutyrophobia.
Pellagra- Pellagrophobia.
Penis, erect- Medorthophobia.
Penis, esp erect- Phallophobia.
Penis, erect: seeing, thinking about or having- Ithyphallophobia.
Penis, losing an erection- Medomalacuphobia.
People- Anthropophobia.
People in general or society- Sociophobia.
People, deformed or bearing a deformed child- Teratophobia.
Philosophy- Philsosphobia.
Phobias- Phobophobia.
Phobic prefering fearful situations- Counterphobia.
Pins and needles- Belonephobia.
Pins- Enetophobia.
Place: locked in an enclosed place- Cleithrophobia, Cleisiophobia, or Clithrophobia.
Place, being in a dark or gloomy- Lygophobia.
Places, certain- Topophobia.
Places, crowded public- Agoraphobia.
Places, open high- Aeroacrophobia.
Places or things, narrow- Stenophobia.
Plants- Botanophobia.
Pleasure, feeling- Hedonophobia.
Poetry- Metrophobia.
Pointed objects- Aichmophobia.
Poison- Iophobia.
Poisoned, being- Toxiphobia, Toxophobia, or Toxicophobia.
Poliomyelitis, contracting- Poliosophobia.
Politicians- Politicophobia.
Pope- Papaphobia.
Poverty- Peniaphobia.
Praise, receiving- doxophobia.
Precipices- Cremnophobia.
Prescribing medicine for patients by a doctor- Opiophobia.
Priests or sacred things- Hierophobia.
Progress- Prosophobia.
Property- Orthophobia.
Prostitutes or venereal disease- Cypridophobia, Cypriphobia, Cyprianophobia, or Cyprinophobia.
Punishment or flogging- Mastigophobia.
Punishment by a rod or other instrument, or of being severely criticized- Rhabdophobia.
Punishment- Poinephobia.
Puppets- Pupaphobia.
Purple, color- Porphyrophobia.

Q-
R-

Rabies- Cynophobia, Hydrophobophobia, Hydrophobia, Kynophobia, or Lyssophobia.
Radiation or x-rays- Radiophobia.
Railroads or train travel- Siderodromophobia.
Rain- Ombrophobia or Pluviophobia.
Rape- Virginitiphobia.
Razors- Xyrophobia.
Rat, great mole- Zemmiphobia.
Rectum or rectal diseases- Proctophobia or Rectophobia.
Red color or blushing- Erythrophobia, Erytophobia or Ereuthophobia.
Relatives- Syngenesophobia.
Religion or gods- Theophobia.
Religious ceremonies- Teleophobia.
Reptiles- Herpetophobia.
Responsibility or duty, neglecting- Paralipophobia.
Responsibility- Hypengyophobia or Hypegiaphobia.
Ridiculed, being- Catagelophobia or Katagelophobia.
Riding in a car- Amaxophobia.
Right side, things on the right side of the body- Dextrophobia.
Rivers- Potamphobia or Potamophobia.
Road travel or travel- Hodophobia.
Robbers or being robbed- Harpaxophobia.
Rooms, empty- Cenophobia or Centophobia.
Rooms- Koinoniphobia.
Ruin- Atephobia.
Running water- Potamophobia.
Russians- Russophobia.

S-

Sacred things or priests- Hierophobia.
Satan- Satanophobia.
Scabies- Scabiophobia.
School, going to school- Didaskaleinophobia.
School- Scolionophobia.
Scientific terminology, complex- Hellenologophobia.
Scratches or being scratched- Amychophobia.
Sea or ocean- Thalassophobia.
Self, seeing oneself in a mirror- Eisoptrophobia.
Self, personal odor- Bromidrosiphobia or Bromidrophobia.
Self, being alone- Autophobia, Eremophobia, Eremiphobia or Isolophobia.
Self, being dirty- Automysophobia.
Self, being oneself- Autophobia.
Self, being seen or looked at- Scopophobia or Scoptophobia.
Self, being touched- Aphenphosmphobia.
Self, that one has a vile odor- Autodysomophobia.
Semen- Spermatophobia or Spermophobia.
Sermons- Homilophobia.
Sex- Genophobia.
Sex, opposite- Heterophobia or Sexophobia.
Sexual abuse- Agraphobia or Contreltophobia.
Sexual intercourse- Coitophobia.
Sexual love or sexual questions- Erotophobia.
Sexual perversion- Paraphobia.
Shadows- Sciophobia or Sciaphobia.
Sharks- Selachophobia.
Shellfish- Ostraconophobia.
Shock- Hormephobia.
Sin or of having committted an unpardonable sin- Enosiophobia or Enissophobia.
Sin- Hamartophobia.
Single: staying single- Anuptaphobia.
Sinning- Peccatophobia.
Sitting down- Kathisophobia.
Sitting- Cathisophobia or Thaasophobia.
Situations, certain- Topophobia.
Skin disease- Dermatosiophobia.
Skin lesions- Dermatophobia.
Skin of animals, fur- Doraphobia.
Sleep- Somniphobia.
Sleep or being hypnotized- Hypnophobia.
Slime- Blennophobia or Myxophobia.
Slopes, steep- Bathmophobia.
Small things- Microphobia, Mycrophobia.
Smells or odors- Olfactophobia.
Smothered, being or choking- Pnigophobia or Pnigerophobia.
Snakes- Ophidiophobia or Snakephobia.
Snow- Chionophobia.
Social (fear of being evaluated negatively in social situations)- Social Phobia.
Society or people in general- Anthropophobia or Sociophobia.
Solitude- Monophobia.
Sounds- Acousticophobia.
Sourness- Acerophobia.
Space, closed or locked in an enclosed space- Cleithrophobia, Cleisiophobia, Clithrophobia.
Space, outer- Spacephobia.
Spaces, confined- Claustrophobia.
Spaces, empty- Cenophobia, Centophobia or Kenophobia.
Spaces, open- Agoraphobia.
Speak, trying to- Glossophobia.
Speaking- Laliophobia or Lalophobia.
Speaking aloud, voices or noises, or telephones- Phonophobia.
Speaking in public- Glossophobia.
Specters or ghosts- Spectrophobia.
Speed- Tachophobia.
Spiders- Arachnephobia or Arachnophobia.
Spirits- Pneumatiphobia.
Stage fright- Topophobia.
Stairs or climbing stairs- Climacophobia.
Stairways- Bathmophobia.
Stand, inability to- Basiphobia or Basophobia.
Standing upright- Basistasiphobia or Basostasophobia.
Standing up- Stasiphobia.
Standing up and walking- Stasibasiphobia.
Stared at, being- Ophthalmophobia.
Stars- Siderophobia or Astrophobia.
Statements, false or myths or stories- Mythophobia.
Staying single- Anuptaphobia.
Stealing- Cleptophobia or Kleptophobia.
Step-father- Vitricophobia.
Steep slopes- Bathmophobia.
Step-mother- Novercaphobia.
Stings- Cnidophobia.
Stooping- Kyphophobia.
Stories or myths or false statements- Mythophobia.
Strangers or foreigners- Xenophobia.
Streets, crossing streets- Dromophobia.
Streets- Agyrophobia.
String- Linonophobia.
Storm, thunder- Brontophobia.
Stuttering- Psellismophobia.
Suffering and disease- Panthophobia.
Sun or sunlight- Heliophobia.
Sunshine or daylight- Phengophobia.
Surgeon's fear of operating: work or functioning- Ergasiophobia.
Surgical operations- Tomophobia.
Swallowing or eating- Phagophobia.
Symbolism- Symbolophobia.
Symmetry- Symmetrophobia.
Syphillis (lues)- Luiphobia or Syphilophobia.

T-

Tapeworms- Taeniophobia.
Taste- Geumaphobia or Geumophobia.
Technology- Technophobia.
Teenagers- Ephebiphobia.
Teeth- Odontophobia.
Telephones, noises or voices, or speaking aloud- Phonophobia.
Telephones- Telephonophobia.
Termites- Isopterophobia.
Tests, taking- Testophobia.
Tetanus or lockjaw- Tetanophobia.
Theaters- Theatrophobia.
Theology- Theologicophobia.
Things, many- Polyphobia.
Things, large- Megalophobia.
Things or places, narrow- Stenophobia.
Things, small- Microphobia or Mycrophobia.
Thinking- Phronemophobia.
Thunder- Ceraunophobia.
Thunder and lightning- Astraphobia, Astrapophobia, Brontophobia or Keraunophobia.
Tickled by feathers or feathers- Pteronophobia.
Tied or bound up- Merinthophobia.
Time or clocks- Chronophobia.
Toads- Bufonophobia.
Tombstones- Placophobia.
Tornadoes and hurricanes- Lilapsophobia.
Touched, being touched- Aphenphosmphobia, Haphephobia or Haptephobia or Chiraptophobia.
Trains, railroads or train travel- Siderodromophobia.
Travel or road travel- Hodophobia.
Trees- Dendrophobia.
Trembling- Ttremophobia.
Trichinosis- Trichinophobia.
Tuberculosis- Phthisiophobia or Tuberculophobia.
Tyrants- Tyrannophobia.

U-

Ugliness- Cacophobia.
Undressing in front of someone- Dishabillophobia.
Urine or urinating- Urophobia.

V-

Vaccination- Vaccinophobia.
Vegetables- Lachanophobia.
Venereal disease or prostitutes- Cypridophobia, Cypriphobia, Cyprianophobia, or Cyprinophobia.
Ventriloquist's dummy- Automatonophobia.
Vertigo or dizziness when looking down- Illyngophobia.
Virginity, losing one's- Primeisodophobia.
Virgins or young girls- Parthenophobia.
Vision: double vision- Diplophobia.
Voices or noises, speaking aloud or telephones- Phonophobia.
Voids or empty spaces- Kenophobia.
Vomiting secondary to airsickness- Aeronausiphobia.
Vomiting- Emetophobia.

W-

Waits, long- Macrophobia.
Walking, standing up and- Stasibasiphobia.
Walking- Ambulophobia, Basistasiphobia or Basostasophobia.
Washing- Ablutophobia.
Wasps- Spheksophobia.
Water- Hydrophobia.
Waves or wave like motions- Cymophobia or Kymophobia.
Wax statues- Automatonophobia.
Weakness- Asthenophobia.
Wealth- Plutophobia.
Weapons, nuclear- Nucleomituphobia.
Weight, gaining- Obesophobia or Pocrescophobia.
Wet dreams- Oneirogmophobia.
Whirlpools or dizzyness- Dinophobia.
White, the color- Leukophobia.
Wild animals- Agrizoophobia.
Wind- Ancraophobia or Anemophobia.
Wine- Oenophobia.
Witches and Witchcraft- Wiccaphobia.
Women- Gynephobia or Gynophobia.
Women, beautiful- Caligynephobia or Venstraphobia.
Wooden objects or forests- Xylophobia.
Words- Logophobia or Verbophobia.
Words, long- Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia or Sesquipedalophobia.
Work or functioning; surgeon's fear of operating- Ergasiophobia.
Work- Ergophobia or Ponophobia.
Worms- Scoleciphobia.
Worms, being infested with- Helminthophobia.
Wrinkles, getting- Rhytiphobia.
Writing- Graphophobia.
Writing in public- Scriptophobia.

X-

X-rays or radiation- Radiophobia.

Y-

Yellow color- Xanthophobia.

Z-

Fresh funny collection

2006-07-24T01:10:00.000+02:00

See more funny pictures on http://crazyfuns.ru/

Doctor, doctor...

2006-07-24T01:08:00.000+02:00

An Irish bloke goes to the doctor and says "Dactor, it's me ahrse. I'd loik ya ta teyhk a look, if ya wood".

So the doctor gets him to drop his pants and takes a look. "Incredible," he says, "there is a £20 note lodged up here".

Tentatively he eases the twenty out of the man's bottom, only to see another £10 note appear. "This is amazing" exclaims the Doctor "What do you want me to do?.

"Well fur gadness sake teyhk it out man" shrieks the patient. The doctor pulls out the tenner and another twenty appears, and another and another and so on...Finally the last note comes out and no more appear.

"Ah Dactor, tank ya koindly, dat's moch batter, how moch is dare den? The Doctor counts the pile of cash

"£1990 exactly."

"Ah, dat'd be roit." he says "I knew I wasn't feeling two grand."

newdating.ru funny pictures

2006-07-24T01:06:00.000+02:00

See full collection on http://newdating.ru/a-humor

Exhibi Kangaroo

2006-06-28T22:02:00.000+02:00

Haircut

2006-06-28T22:00:00.000+02:00

A New York woman was at her East Side hairdresser getting her hair styled prior to a trip to Rome with her boyfriend.
She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded, "Rome?
Why would anyone want to go Rome?
It's crowded and dirty and worse yet, full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome."
"So, how are you getting there"?
"We're flying on Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
"Continental"? exclaimed the hairdresser. "That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late."
"So, where are you staying in Rome"?
"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's left side called Trieste..."
"Don't go any further. I know that place.
Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive.
But it's really a dump. The worst hotel in the whole city!
The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're way overpriced."
"So, whatcha doing when you get there"?
"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."
"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. "You and a million other people trying to see him.
He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours.
You're sure going to need it."

A month later, the woman, all smiling, came in for her hair appointment.
The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
"It was absolutely wonderful," explained the woman. "Not only did we arrive on time in one of Continental's brand new jets, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class.
The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.
And the hotel.
It was fabulous! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling job and now it's just a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.
They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at no extra charge!"
"Well," muttered the hairdresser. "I know you didn't get to see the Pope."
"Actually, we were quite lucky.
As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later, the Holy Father walked through the door and shook my hand!
I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Really"? asked the hairdresser. "What'd he say"?

He said, "Where did you get that horrible haircut"?

It's Great to be Blonde

2006-06-28T21:25:00.000+02:00

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude. With that, she stripper from the neck down, rolled the ice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know – I thought you were watching."

Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men!

Animals

2006-06-28T21:08:00.000+02:00

Two Nuns

2006-05-16T12:36:00.000+02:00

Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?" "Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.

Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts.

"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen. Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

"Now what?"shouts Sister Catherine?

"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.

"Now you're talking," says Sister Catherine.

She opens the window and shouts, "Get off the F---ing car"

Lol chat log

2006-04-20T14:27:00.000+02:00

SA made me think of a question
Why does bowser always kidnap princess peach?

Myria Sefirosu: i don't know.
Myria Sefirosu: he's probably sick of kidnappin gher.
Myria Sefirosu: orders a pizza, beer and awtches some sopranos.
Myria Sefirosu: She has her own room.
Myria Sefirosu: he locks the door.
Myria Sefirosu: when mario gets close he keeps setting princess traps
Myria Sefirosu: sry ur princess is in the wrong castle lol'
noelrunes: I was goig to say that bowser probably fucks her with his spiky penis but k
Myria Sefirosu: why woul dhe wanna do that
Myria Sefirosu: she probably has lots of STDs
noelrunes: I dunno I mean come on he's kidnapped her for over 15 years
noelrunes: what would he do
Myria Sefirosu: He probably gets bored.
noelrunes: give her damn biscuits and tea?
Myria Sefirosu: And decides to kidnap her.
Myria Sefirosu: Because Mario is a fatass.
Myria Sefirosu: he throws her in a room then watches some sopranos.
Myria Sefirosu: then makes sure Mario has to go through 9 levels of stupidness just to get to him.
Myria Sefirosu: He went overboard in Mario 3
Myria Sefirosu: with all his fucking kids.
noelrunes: it was 8 levels noob

What are your ideas